Life goes on be it dawn or dusk

2011-09-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

I'm really tired.

Time to start a whole new chapter of my life. I'm closing this blog down for good.

Wont be posting anything here unless I'm bored, which most likely ain't gonna occur unless I'm jobless again lol.

Good bye.

PS: To all my online friends whom might miss me, feel free to sms me via my number to have a lil chat. Or just simply talk on msn the next time we met online. You know who you are =P

Go little bad girl

2011-07-21T02:29:00.000+08:00

David Guetta makes me feel sassy tonight. That song is sexy....

Oh they tell me that I'm a bad boy
All the ladies look at me and act coy
I just want to put my hands up in the air
I want there girl dancing over there
Shaking her ass from the left to the right
Moving it round just the way that I like
I wanna see it move like a movie on flight
She got it how I want it & I want it all night

All the fun stuff begins when everything is bad. I need a job.......haiz

=)

Trick of an illusionist

2011-07-19T02:15:00.001+08:00

And he said "Now it's time to start the show. If you would kindly close your eyes now, you would see me slowly disappearing."

Busy with my online game lately. I've been grinding a lot with my guild mates. Haven been addicted to online games for a very long time. Did the psychometric test for the DXO position, hopefully i'll get selected for an interview.

I like fun and interesting activities/people. I rather do it fun in a group or alone. Most of the time I do it alone cuz there ain't a lot of interesting people around.

"Look at the time now! I wish I've the ability to stop time. But the truth is that I don't. The watch is broken, you silly."

A little bit of you is fun. I rather play my online game than to spend more fun time with you. I don't want you to break my watch.

Discontinue the replay button

2011-06-29T01:10:00.002+08:00

I can go head over heel for you
And stick closely to you like a glue
Yet
You don't know exactly how it feels
To be ditched around like a fool

If one day I were to turn cynical and hysterical, I blame those people around me for giving me the chance to behave these way. They taught me well.

I'm starting to think more about what I really want. Oh well, my job hunt continues. I hope to hear from some of the companies soon. I need to get a job in order to take a step closer to what I really want, ha ha.

Oh roly-poly
You're so cute that you make me go ga-ga
You dance to the groovy beat of mi-fa-soh-la
Lovely like a lollipop
Shiny like a disco top
I'm sorry I cant discontinue the replay button
Just like how I can't stop thinking about you
Shit....

=)

Framing a mental picture

2011-06-25T01:17:00.000+08:00

Tired...

Came back today after teaching 2 tuition and dinner with Gary and gang. The seperators on my teeth are killing me. I can't eat properly sia, haiz.

Managed to finish doing the A-math corrections for Daniel. I have to do it for him cuz I can't afford to waste time to go through it during tuition and his teacher refused to give them the answers. I wonder what teachers are doing nowadays. Torturing kids to a higher level, huh?

I know you're busy. Really. I'm not disappointed. Really. I'm just glad to see you again, even if it means taking a mental picture through my head.

Holidays are ending, so is mine. Time to resume my job hunt again.

Good night to you my precious oil drill, and to the whole world out there. Yawnz...

Best part of me

2011-06-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces

Nah I'm just joking, I was just listening to the song "Breakeven" by The Script.

I'm fine, don't worry.

When you're given a chance, sometimes it's not just all about pursuing it. It's better to understand and appreciate rather than to whine about not being able to obtain it.

You're the best part of me in my life. I wanna live them to the fullest.

You can read and know but you cannot ask

2011-06-15T01:34:00.000+08:00

Some of my friends are saying "How come you don't blog bout your life, your school, etc. You're blabbering a lot of things I don't understand. Are you ok?"

HA HA....

Of course I'm ok! It's just that I'm not telling you things that I don't feel like telling you.

So if you don't understand what I'm saying here, you can always ask me in person, and if I choose to avoid your question, that means I don't feel like sharing with you.

Basic social ethics, hope you're a fast learner when you confront me with issues I wrote on my blog. =P

Then you can say again "If you don't want people to read, don't write your link on facebook and let people read lah"

I've to say..... I'm quite a bit of an attention seeker, haha. I allow EVERYBODY to see, but only a very selective few to touch.

The days are ticking away. We're halfway in the midst of June. What are you doing now...

=)

Party pooper through till drop

2011-06-14T01:54:00.001+08:00

Last night was fun

We took photos till we drop

Beefs for buffet we ate non-stop

Time flies quickly I soon forgot

I miss the time

We chat all night and feel so high

"How was your day I'm alright"

"Take care sleep well and good night"

Your words I remember

You're no stranger in my head

You're sweet like icing on a cake

I'm just waiting with all my faith

Well, life goes on as per normal. Gonna spend most of my time with Gary and gang since they are having holidays now too. I've been out for 4 consecutive days already sia, damn shag!!

I wonder how you're doing now, everyday. Your day is coming soon ya.

Trust me... Meanwhile, I'm just gonna breathe and continue another day.

=)

Come online my love

2011-06-02T01:22:00.000+08:00

My my
Looking for a guy guy
I dont't want him too shy
But he's gonna have the qualities
That I like in a man
Strong, smart, affectionate
He's gotta be all for me
And I'll be too
You see happily

Maybe we'll meet at a bar
He'll drive a funky car
Maybe we'll meet at a club
And fall so deeply in love
He'll tell me I'm the one
And we'll have so much fun
I'll be the one of his dreams
Maybe...

My reason for being online is the same reason as you coming online. Finally Thursday, haha

=)

Naturally 10

2011-05-30T17:58:00.000+08:00

Perfection is like a form of disease
Some will pursue cuz they couldnt resist
Some tried so hard that they all turned crazy
Why do people strive so hard just to exist

I know I'm not perfect, nobody's perfect
I do things naturally as I deem correct
However, this flaw makes me feel so imperfect
How can I be correct when I know Im not perfect

Perfection always seem so superficial
Everything on the surface as delicate as tissue
Yet my eyes blinded me with conflicting issues
What is it exactly that makes you so you

First was the meet-up
Next came the chase-up
As sweet as 7-Up
You're just the tea for my cup

Good looks come by short like a thrill
It makes you think that love feels so real
Yet reality is harsh like a burning hot grill
What's on the inside, now that's the big deal

Im 24
You're 15
We're a difference by 9
but we still click like naturally 10
Perfectly imperfect logic, now that's contradicting

=)

Smile

2011-05-27T01:13:00.000+08:00

And that's why I smile
It's been a while...
Since everyday and everything has felt this right
And now you turn it all around
And suddenly you're all I need
The reason why I smile

I used to be afraid of disappointments
Losing everything including precious moments
But I've learn to accept and let things go
Just so you know
I'll lead a happier life even when you're gone
Just to prove you wrong

Someday, you'll find this place and you will be reading this. This is a place for me to seek refuge and write down all my feelings.

Feelings that are right
Feelings that are wrong
Feelings that are damn fucking confusing I sing them like a song

I don't know much about you at the moment, barred behind the screen.
I must admit sometimes what you do just make me scream!
You gave me a second chance to prove myself
And to something also for yourself
I still cant believe it though...
But why must I care so
FUCK IT LAH, I'll just take a leap of faith!

=)

Life is like a drama

2011-05-26T02:03:00.000+08:00

Life is like a drama

A new chapter in my life after my exams are over and i'm near graduating. A lot of things have happen in my life and i was really lazy to blog about it.

It is good to be honest, and it will always be good to be truthful and sincere. No more hiding behind the screens or lies to cover up the flaws. I'm so glad to have know you in my life at this point of time.

My tagboard seems to be flooded with spams from unknown strangers. Imma ignore them for now.

2011-05-04T00:24:00.002+08:00

This was suppose to be our song

You came before but now you're gone

Where are you...

Time flies quickly and it's been so long

Our feelings together felt so right

Party till dawn from day to night

Countless limelight...

It all ends with just a simple fight

You like to play hide-and-seek

I promised before I won't peek

Benefit of the doubt...

The way you act now makes me sick

Confession of the plastic smile

Despite the fact that I'm not around

I miss you so much...

Yet I still frown

Planning the day on the fourteen

When I'm back and you can be seen

Breaking hearts...

I see the true colours of a devious fiend

I really like you a lot as a friend, but how could you lie to me all these time. LIES!

Who says

2011-04-11T22:23:00.003+08:00

Who says

Who says you're not perfect

Who says you're not worth it

Who says you're the only one that's hurting...

Trust me,

that's the price of beauty

Who says you're not pretty

Who says you're not beautiful

Who says...

Who says you're not star potential

Who says you're not presidential

Who says you're cant be in movie

Listen to me, listen to me...

Who says you dont pass the test

Who says you cant be the best

Who said, who said, would you tell me who said that!

Who says we cant be together

On and on or go forever

Who says I cant be your toy

Even if you're just a boy

Trust me,

Words from others I dont care

Take a chance and take my dare

Who says we can never be there

Who says...

Sow the seed of the present for a brighter future ahead. Only then will I know what lies ahead for me. Dont give up now, ROAR!

2011-04-11T00:07:00.002+08:00

Some day, I know you're gonna read this blog. I always read my own blog to recall about what I did. Today, this is how I feel.

I told myself someday,

Imma find something to do and make myself happy.

Day by day, till the day I find you.

Baby you're the one,

Who listens to all my every thing.

Who cares about the little thing that I do.

Who hides behind my back when looking into my eyes.

Maybe I just love you.

I know you like me a lot. Look at your face, damn cute sia haha.

I like you a lot too, cant you see...

Don't leave me again, ya.

2011-04-10T01:40:00.002+08:00

Im addicted to watching Dream High, because it has got my favourite idol Wooyoung from 2PM in it.

Im also addicted to the OST from that show.

Im tired, today. Maybe.

2011-04-05T12:17:00.004+08:00

I like you, you like me, we are one big family.

It's better to have love and lost

than never to have love at all

My favourite quote. Not because I find it nice and meaningful, but because I've live through it and experience it myself.

I miss my mum.

I love the monster.

2011-04-01T13:06:00.003+08:00

I wonder if I should show you this place. You said you wanna read my mind ya.

My mind is quite messy, confusing but it can also be a lil bit too exciting.

Sometimes I dont even know what Im talking about, lol.

People tend to say :"huh??? whats wrong with you, are you ok?" and I'll say "Ya im fine, haha."

I can show you this place. All you need to do is to open your mouth and ask me.

Even though I know absolutely nothing bout you, but I dont mind sharing everything about myself.

I just like to tell you everything, because you like to know everything about me.

That's all I know.

Im glad to see you back again.

2011-03-29T01:01:00.003+08:00

He loves me (she loves me not), She loves me (He loves me not)

I'm hereby "done" with my thesis. Dateline for submission is on wednesday but I need to print it out first before i send for binding. So i dont care already. My thesis is done, finalised, COMPLETE! No more thesis to do haha, yay.

So I'm left with my poster design for my FYP and im officially over with it. I've got 2 more presentations to go. One is due this week and another next week. So by next week I'll be done with a lot of things apart from my exams. I can smell graduation haha. I am so looking forward to get my ass out of NUS. Bye bye!!

I'm happy. Yes. You're an idiot you know, but that's why Im always happy with you around. Haha. Glad that you're still alive and sound. Hope to get things back to normal soon ya.

2011-03-19T01:28:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I blogged a proper post, will do so after I finish my FYP.

I must apologise to many of my friends. Sorry ah I haven been able to plan any outings during this period of time due to my FYP. Once i finish my FYP i will definite organise a much bigger, much more fun, never before seen type of outings haha. There's so many things that i wanna do but always restrained by my school work. But fear no more, lim bei is gonna graduate soon!!!

And i wont be studying Masters or Ph.D for a very very long period of time....hopefully never, HAHA.

I miss all my friends, and I miss you too, wherever you are.

2011-02-28T00:08:00.005+08:00

夜夜心多谁能睡

不是疲惫也不是心碎

只能说陶醉，

也是一种罪。

如果能够再早一点认识你，

该多好啊

花田里犯的错

除了你知，

我知，

谁会知？

Reflection

2011-02-19T22:09:00.003+08:00

Reflection

It's been a long time since I spent my saturday night at home alone. It's so peaceful and quiet. I didnt touch on my thesis today haha. Just chillex-ing. Watching my favourite 霸王花 movie series. I miss the good old day movies where you dont have substitutes, no cliche subtitles and no fancy CG. Just good old laughter.

I went to see the doctor today regarding my skin condition. Cost me 100 bucks, argh! The doctor said that i've prolong dryness on my skin which makes me prone to outbreaks. And yes, i'm hereby allergic to my own sweat *says the doctor*. So I'm not allow to do too much intense exercise. What a great excuse for me to continue maintaining my boy-ish body figure. The next step is to downgrade PES and excuse myself from IPPT forever, LOL

So i'm trying to kill time now loading my next movie while listening to this song "Reflection" from the movie Mulan. This song makes me emo, haha. Nice song, nice song.

When will my reflection shows who I am inside...

I've been whining to people a lot that I've got nothing to do at home. I was kidding lah, I've a lot of things that I can do at home but I choose not to, haha. I've decided that after I graduate in May *after Im back from grad trip*, imma buy myself the new NGP to play. If NGP isnt out yet, then i'll buy myself a PS3 to play. Yup! I've decided to give up on MMORPG games, those are so boring sia. Meanwhile I'll be trying my best finding a job. Sigh,

Who's that girl I see stareing straight back at me?

Why is my reflection someone I dont know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?

When will my reflection shows who I am inside...

Why must we all cant see what we think, how we feel

Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide

I wont pretend that I'm someone else for all time

When will my reflection show who I am inside...

Coco Lee's version is better than Christina Aguilera's, haha.

Someday, you'll see who I am.

2011-02-13T02:15:00.002+08:00

I was thinkin about her, thinkin about me.

Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?

Open my eyes, yeah, it was only just a dream.

So i travel back, down that road.
Wills he come back? No one knows.

I realise, yeah, it was only just a dream.

2011-02-06T02:03:00.002+08:00

When there's nothing to talk about,

dont talk lor....

When there's nothing to say to each other,

dont say lor....

You might say "You're not putting in effort to maintain a relationship. Communication is very important" !!

I say "Fuck you! When Im trying to communicate with you, you think Im talking to a wall ya."

Now that Im not saying anything, dont give me that communication bullshit stuff and say that I didnt put in effort.

When there's no point in maintaining a relationship,

i'll just fuck you off lor!

Remember, Im not desperate for friends. I will never be, cuz I love myself more. Everybody starts off as a loner before, and i rather stay as a loner than to talk to a wall. Besides, im not even feeling lonely, haha.

2011-02-01T00:04:00.002+08:00

When one source of happiness has depleted, it's time to search for a new source.

Of worlds apart, I seek one that is no other like you.

Happy chinese new year to all.

The ideal meaning of being nice

2011-01-27T23:07:00.005+08:00

The ideal meaning of being nice

Chinese new year is coming. Life goes on as usual. The everyday routine for me now is lab, lecture and doing thesis at home. I've a totally different routine for my weekends though, HAHA.

I was watching a documentary show about World War II on the other day and it mention something about breaking through enemy defences. It's best to be proactive and make the enemy react to your movements.

A thought came across my mind: It's doesnt happens the way you want it to be even when you're proactive all the time.

They say...........I'm passive. Yes, i react to situations most of the time. It depends on who you are, how I feel and what we do. I dont see a need for me to be nice to everyone all the time. You Sheng said something to me today while I was doing lab "What do you do to keep in contact with on-and-off type of friends"?

I said: "I dont keep in contact with them, let nature take its course."

Friends that come and go. They're not the type of friends who will stick around you forever or share intimate stuff with you. They're just like...... strangers who emits warm aura. Nice knowing them though, who noes when I might encounter them again after I graduate. Haha.

Some say.........I'm proactive. Yes, again it depends on who you are, how I feel and what we do. Edwin said "Not everyone likes it when you're proactive, it's scary." I always believe that if you want something, you should always initiate and seize the chance. Often, they end up as failure or creating a form of humiliation for myself. So he asked me "Why are you active suddenly?"

I said: "Because he is nice."

Am I a sucker for people who treats me nicely? Sadly, yes. I wonder if its because I dont really get to encounter people around who treats me nicely. You know, the way I perceive as you being nice to me and not just "you think that you're being nice to me means I should feel that you're nice to me". Then again, people whom I think who treats me nicely might not think that they're being nice to me at all in the first place. It's kinda of a relative issue.

From now, i'll try to see things in a much simpler way and not complicate things.

It's either you're nice or mean
Good or bad
Like or dislike
Love or hate
Yes or no

When there's nothing to talk about and you really want to talk to a person badly, it's kinda nuisance ya.

I wont be a sucker for nice people anymore. For myself, and for her.

I hide you seek

2011-01-22T00:20:00.004+08:00

I hide you seek

Literally, said him...

So i went to have a discussion with my mentor today. Looks like everything is proceeding like how i have planned it. I sound like if im hatching an evil scheme or something haha. No lah, cuz originally my mentor wanted to this this this that that that. But due to time constrain, i've decided to shoot down some of her "this and that". It really pays to check the literature articles and convinced my mentor into cutting on the workload. Im quite near the end of my project already i would say. Thesis......has been quite stagnant at the moment. I haven been putting in much effort in doing it. But soon though, SOON I will start doing on it haha.

Every moment with you~

So my mentor and Mun Wai has decided not to take environmental chem. So it's just me and Li Xiao. Li Xiao is quite an interesting guy haha. It is just me or are most of the FST post grads that lively compare to the chemistry post grads? We're gonna face a problem finding ppl for the group project. I hate finding ppl to do group project. It's almost like begging around.

Just like the breeze from the shore~

I always believe that, there's a hidden agenda in someway or another. You can be all nice and cuddling about everything, then you can say that it's "in your nature" or "i just enjoy being nice to my friends". Maybe im the more skeptical type of person, being always doubtful about the way how people act. But cant help it, 防人之心不可无

I cant explain it no more~

A word to those out there. Dont try to act nice in front of me just to please me. I know you cant stop acting, but dont blame me if i scold "FUCK" infront of your face and piss you off. Cuz you've already pissed mine off a long time ago and I cant stand it no more ya.

Just exactly what do you want from me exactly? I dont have time for this......

2011-01-20T00:36:00.003+08:00

Like Kesmond said, it's like waiting for a bus.

The more you want it to come, the later it comes.

What if you know that im waiting, then why wont you come for me?

Im always needy. Yah, scares the hell out of everyone.

People say you dont need a reason to be nice.
I say, you need to give me a reason for being nice to me.
Im a skeptic, would appreciate if you could come up with one.
Even if you dont have any, lie to me if you have to.
And you will ask "why?"

Because it makes me feel better.

Why?

Dont you have anything to ask apart from always asking "why?"

To all want once

2011-01-07T00:39:00.005+08:00

To all want once

It's time to blog again.

I finally started doing my thesis ya. I have to because I realise that I dont have much time left. My chances of deferment is quite low so I have to plan ahead. There are also way too many people fighting to use the GC-MS. Anthony, Amelia, Irene, Li Jie, Li Xiao......when will it be ever my turn to use lol. My mentor is also starting to cut slack on me, the deadlines are coming due. I've got to make use of whatever data I have now to do my thesis, even if it means using the underhand method. Haha.

So I spent my New Year celebration with Fizah and her friend. We went clubbing at Attica. Butter Factory was INACCESSIBILE and I spent like so much money on transportation navigating that small central area. I cant believe they barricaded the whole walkway, you cant even reach there by foot. Took a lot of photos with them, and with Kitty too at the skypark chocolate buffet dinner outing. I love her DSLR haha.

Ever feel like a bird in a cage? Ya, try cooping yourself at home for the whole day with nothing to do *apart from writing thesis and doing progress report*.

When simple life turns boring, that's when all the good boys start turning bad. 360 degree ya.

Love letters

2010-12-26T23:05:00.004+08:00

Love letters

Time to blog.

Argh, I've wasted too much time slacking and I'm behind my schedule. The progress report presentation slide is taking a lot longer than I expected to finish. I have got quite good results but I still have some problems analyzing it. My mentor isnt back from China yet.... ah I cant believe I'm saying this but I wish she is back sooner to help me with my report, hahaha.

Christmas is over and a brand new year is coming. Time really pass quickly this year. Lots of things had happen for me. Yah, a lot a lot...

So I heard from Joyclyn that she has already finished her FYP. Congratz to her. I really wonder if its a good idea to end FYP that early. Cuz ..... wont your supervisor throw in my stuff for you to do since you have so much spare time, lol? That's why I dont really want to rush my project. I just want to do enough, I dont want to do extra work. For god sake, we are not as free as the PhD students. We still have modules to study, thesis to write and other assignments to do. I know the post docs also have to those things, but I DONT GIVE A DAMN!!! Lol. I want my life back!

Im addicted to BoA and Crystal Kay again. I feel like wasting myself again in this lonely night.

Words that make me smile

Acts that make me laugh

SMSes that cheers me up

Like love letters...

You're there no more.

I bid goodbye, reluctantly.

Dont hate me cuz i'm beautiful

2010-12-13T23:22:00.003+08:00

Dont hate me cuz i'm beautiful

Im blogging now to kill time here while waiting for my dad to finish watching his tv show so that I can play my FFX. And listening to music of course, haha.

Went out to celebrate Zhenjian's birthday on sunday. Ate a lot of desserts till I wanna puke. I also bought myself a new black cardigan. I saw my primary school friends too, what a coincidence haha.

Halfway through the holidays and I'm nowhere productive on my FYP. I need to start on my progress report presentation soon. I need to start writing my thesis. I need to start working hard even though it's my holidays now. I dont feel like if im having a holiday!

At least I'm being preoccupied with things to do. It put my mind as ease instead of thinking about you.

All eyes on me when I walk in

No questions that this guy's a ten

My walk, my talk, the way I dress

It's not my fault so please dont trip

Dont hate me cuz I'm beautiful

Waiting in vain, pursuing nothing but disappointment. But I know that if i just sit here waiting aimlessly I wont be found. I'm go club, drink and waste myself till I get tired. I know..... but who are you to control my life?

Shhh..... if i dont say it, nobody will know.....

I like that the best

2010-12-07T00:22:00.004+08:00

I like that the best

Thanks to Edwin, Im once again on my Kpop craze, for BEAST this time haha.

My exams are over but you're still nowhere in sight. Papa was right about you, how I wish he was wrong...

Im still going to school as per normal. I will be having my progress report presentation on Thursday. Argh, and I was hoping to get it over with it ASAP haha.

Oh.... lights go on again, on again...

I like you the best... you know, even though it's just off the screen.

But since you insist on doing it your way, then fine.

I almost let it out on myself, haha. I guess sooner or later, Imma come out of it.

Hear me, hear me. It's the greatest juicy secret that you dont want to miss out on!

Nobody likes to read a long whiny post. So I will summarise it in a few words:
I'll learn to love myself more than anything else, till then.

2010-11-23T00:23:00.002+08:00

I've.......moved on.

Exams are finally starting for me tomorrow. Everybody is doing their best and encouraging each other.

You......remind me of him.

Everybody is telling me to "jiayou" and wishing me "good luck". And I can only dream of hearing one from you.

Finally......

Tinge of deadly thoughts

2010-11-18T00:37:00.003+08:00

Tinge of deadly thoughts

I feel kinda slack for my exam preparation. Rachel was telling me about how comprehensive the Planet Earth paper could be. And yah, they pretty much cover EVERYTHING! I wanted to look at the paper after i finish my preparation, but i guess it wont hurt for me to just take a look at it to see wat the format is like or what kind of topics would be examinable. I need to double up my preparation.

Hope...... is comforting.

Online world...... exist only in the mind of those who accepts abandons the Offline world.

I'm definitely snapping out of it.

They said.... love is good. I said.... why must I feel love in order to be whole again when I was once whole without it. I detest it to the core. Well not completely, maybe I just loved the wrong things.

I'm trying to find myself a study partner lately. I wonder if Bernard would be interested. Exams are really scary, just 2 more semesters to endure. I wanna get away from this hectic exam life!

I really enjoy playing back my FFX again. I dont understand what the story was saying when I played it back in my secondary school days. Now I know.

It started a 1000 years ago, there was a big war between Bevelle and Zanarkand.

The war ended with a horrible fate: a spiral of death looms.

Zanarkand knew that they could not win, so they summon up their remaining powers.

To make a dream, of a city that never sleeps.

Some of the characters in the dream became too real to be true.

Then, he came into the picture.

He will stop the dream.

He will end the spiral of death.

And he disappears along with it, for he doesnt exist in the first place.

Dreams do come true, maybe for a while, but not forever.

If I cant find what I want here now, I'll just find it again in my next life. Some things are not meant to be, I know. I hope to be your friend again in the next life, for real this time.

2010-11-15T01:23:00.002+08:00

It's not necessary good to know about everything in this world. White lies are said to cover up on what you shouldnt need to know.

I have no way to contact you, but you have all the means to find me when you want to.

Even if I were to make a mistake, you have to at least voice out to let me know. Just dont keep quiet and expect me to find reasons to cover the faults.

Saying something, even a white lie than nothing at all.

Be nice, even when you are not yourself. And I just wait from dawn till dusk, everyday.

2010-11-11T01:25:00.002+08:00

You know the dreams that you always make when you sleep, they are not real. They feel real but that's only because they are dreams. Dreams are not real, never will be real. That's why I dont want to dream about you, if not you will never be real in my life.

I cant just wait all day long. I've a life too. When the expected is waiting for the unexpected, it sucks when you have expectations. Nitez.

2010-11-07T21:41:00.002+08:00

2 days more, or 3...

There, or not there
I cant tell, neither can I feel nor see you
I wish to know more about your presence, if possible
Then again, it's better if I dont

Come back soon. Come back safe.

I hope you have the ring. I really want it you know, especially from you.

Regards
Your silly goose

2010-11-04T23:41:00.002+08:00

A moment of divergent may be futile, but still the actors must continue the play.

Like memories, happiness are sometimes meant to be kept in the mind only.

Nothing better, nothing better..... than you

Illumination

2010-11-03T22:32:00.003+08:00

Illumination

It's already week 12. Time flies when you are doing lab work. Gonna finish up all my sample preparation by this week and bring back the data for analysis. Hopefully I can persuade my mentor to give me grace period to study. I really dont want to go back to lab during study week. Im really really REALLY BEHIND my studying schedule. Zzz.

Even though I get to go back home early from my lab *relatively compare to the rest of the people around me*, I really dont have the energy/mood to do anymore work at home. Even Rachel and Yin Ngai thinks the same, EVEN YIN NGAI!! Yah, I purposely giving myself reasons to slack thus neglecting my studies.

Gonna start on my geography assignment during the weekends. I need to get ready.

Final week. It seems like if you just flew off yesterday. I look forward to you coming back. I really do.

I miss you. You miss me. We are one big family and a tra-la-la-la.....

2010-10-26T22:30:00.003+08:00

I want to thank all my friends who went out with me last week to celebrate my birthday. I really appreciate it a lot, I LOVE YOU ALL HAHA =)

I'm not just celebrating for myself alone, I'm celebrating it together with you on the far side. I miss you.

Presentation on friday. I am a bit nervous cuz it's gonna be a solo presentation. Hopefully I wont fumble. Wish me luck haha.

2010-10-21T19:05:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday. Today is a very good day for me despite having a long day of lab. The feeling may feel a bit incomplete without hearing one from you, but it's ok cuz it cant be help.

I hope you didnt forget about mine haha. I know you will be wishing it really hard from the other side of the continent. I got it. I definitely wont forget about yours! Take care, haha.

Only you

2010-10-16T00:33:00.003+08:00

Only you

By the time I finish this blog, I would have know that I wont have the chance to bid you a final farewell for your trip. Take care of yourself there k. At least the weather isnt as El Nino hot as Singapore now haha. 3 weeks, I will wait for you to come back and tell me everything about it. Bon voyage!!

I dont have anything much to blog at the moment. I just wish that I can accelerate time to the fullest. The best way to do so would be to sleep, sleep, and sleep more haha. It's only the midst of October but my mood is already flying to November.

I miss the weather there. I really did enjoy my stay there. Even though there are stuff that I hate there: politics, embarressment, pride, sand, dirty, I still like that place very much. Because that was my first oversea trip in my life. I love sitting on the plane, haha.

It's just the sky, me, and a cheap glass of sipping champagne on my pseudo world. I'm waiting patiently for you. Remember to check out the night sky there, haha. Promise...

2010-10-11T00:20:00.003+08:00

Just you, me and the stars above us.

Dont fail me now my dear Internet. I need you on thursday, haha.

Similarities

2010-10-06T23:34:00.002+08:00

Similarities

This picture here is Wooyoung, one of the guys from the popular korean boy band 2PM. I said before that you look quite like a korean idol. That's the closest I can be when I see Wooyoung's picture.

I'm going to be busy with my coconut analysis. Lots of deadlines due this October: Med chem presentation, geography assignment, Advanced analytical report. My mentor is pressuring me to start on my FYP report. Yes.... I'm about to start doing that soon, lol.

I like 2PM because of a recommendation from my friend. It gives me a whole lot more reasons to like 2PM now, especially Wooyoung. Seeing him reminds me of you, haha.

It will be great to have you by my side too. There's only one thing that I look forward to every week now. I just want to talk to you, only.

Crybaby Wooyoung, you're just so utterly adorable. I miss you.

2010-09-29T22:56:00.002+08:00

I think I am a simple person
Like blue skies and fluffy white clouds
Small little things make me happy
Most people like it this way

Sometimes, I do unbelievable stuff
Like splattered blood glowing in the middle of the night
Momentary attentions gave me the adrenaline rush
I'm still trying to change this side of me, ironically

I cant be neither of the both
Either or the both
But who cares, I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy
Because we share a common link
You see me the same way as I see you. Period.

2010-09-28T23:23:00.002+08:00

I get nervous if you look at me like that
Give some time and turn towards me
(Turn around)
I start to laugh when I want to hide
Close your eyes, kiss me love and come closer to me
I'm so nervous I cant think straight
I seem to push you away without noticing, I'm sorry
My heart isnt mine anymore, what should I do?
Baby tell me now. Dont be sad
Go back from the top

I like you, I really love you
It's true, I want to love you everyday
I'm falling for you bit by bit
Why am I so anxious?

It was too fast for me, but I pretended not to know
I wanted to be on your mind and kiss you
(I wanted to)
But I couldnt trust your glare since you were my first love
But how could I refuse? You were to so cute
I wondered how first love would feel like
I wanted to be rough but gentle, be a girl like TV star
Somehow you had already pulled the trigger
How should I say this?
Go back from the top

My heart is beating harder
It's true, I want to love you everyday
I'm falling for you bit by bit
Why am I so anxious?
I like you, I really love you
It's true, I want to love you everyday
I'm falling for you bit by bit
Why am I so anxious?

Lyrics from DJ Max FIrst Kiss by BJJ. It's true.

Bittersweet

2010-09-25T23:38:00.004+08:00

Bittersweet

I've been rather pessimistic in a lot of my post. It's time for an optimistic change in my life.

I had a tuition marathon today but I enjoyed teaching my students. Jiarong did really well for his chemistry, so proud of him. Clement needs to work harder for his O levels haha, dont slack k boys.

I purposely choose not to go back home after my tuition with Elroy today. I went out with Zhenjian instead to have dinner and shop around Jurong Point haha. I was so tired, so reluctant to study. I just feel that I really need a break. This week is recess week but I have been going to lab everyday, working and working. So are my other friends, all of them are working very hard and everybody is struggling to balance their schoolwork.

Despite all our busy schedule, most of us still try to find time to celebrate Guangrong's birthday. There is this annoying guy on that day though and well what a surprise, he turns out to be Guangrong's friend lol. But none of us like him because he is ummm...... a bit deprive on the EQ side I would say. No serious grudge against him, we just dont like him haha. Had mango moose cake on that day and it was very delicicious. Got to thank Rachel for finding time to organise this celebration. It was also a good way for everyone to gather around. It has been quite a while since we had so much fun together.

As I walk back home today after going out with Zhenjian, I looked up into the night sky to see if I can see any stars up there. Yup, I saw one alright. I was smiling at it.

The life in me wont let you go too. I'm missing the moments every second. Welcome to my life, the star who claims to be shy. Haha.

It's nice to like someone whom you like. It's even nicer if someone whom you like, likes you too.

Hope you're looking at the stars on the night sky tonight. Cuz I'm watching along side with you from another corner of the world. The stars are talking tonight, lovely isnt it.

I'll do whatever in the present night to love you.

This is a bittersweet post.

I'll miss you too :)

PS to all my friends reading this: I'm not saying a thing about this issue, yet =P

My funny friend

2010-09-19T22:53:00.005+08:00

My funny friend

I have a very funny friend. Even though he exists only in the online world, he can make me laugh and crying with tears with some of the things he said sometimes.

No rush, there's no need to rush. I cant even if I want to haha.

It feels like everything when I've nothing at all. All I want is just a moment of attention. Not just any attention, I want YOUR attention.

I love the joke and anything else that he said, because he treats me like a human and as a friend with no strings attached.

Bleh....... I'll always miss that tone, haha. It's just so amusing to me =)

The world that never was

2010-09-03T00:06:00.007+08:00

The world that never was

Scattered memories are like faraway dreams

Faraway dreams are like scattered memories

You are who you are but you are not

Sad

You're not pretending, you're just confine to the rules of the society

Someday, someone will release the restraining device on you

Then you'll be who you really are

Happy

You get to do what you always wanted to do

Without a sense of guilt or sorrow

Even if it means bending all the morals that you once set upon

Once

When everything feels so right

But it's not normal to feel right all the time

Cuz when you're right, you're actually wrong

Right

I'm not sad. Im just a little bit disappointed about your absence today. I hope I didnt disappoint you today, my friend.

Little PS

2010-09-01T23:30:00.004+08:00

Little PS

I went for a last minute tuition with Ivan today. Overtime a bit cuz I have to wait for him to finish up his composition. I was on my way back and I saw bus 187 going away. That's when I tell myself that it's gonna take ages to wait for another one to come so I decided to walk back home. Oh well, I manage to finish reading 4 literature articles while teaching tuition haha. I'm not slacking, I'm multitasking =)

Today is Teacher's Day. No wonder I see a lot kids wondering around the void deck and streets. Too bad I dont give a damn about it. Why should I when most of the teachers that I like are already gone, lol.

Tired day. Geography tutorial today was a waste of time. He doesnt allow us to refer to our notes to do the tutorial because he wants us to "practice" and gauge our standards. Luckily it's not graded. A very hot day though and I was wearing like a black body today. I'm quite sure I'm radiating heat at the power of four, ha ha.

After a tired day of work and shenanigans, it's nice to come online to relax my mind. I was greeted with this sweet offline message by my friend haha, kinda made my day. So he was telling me that he is at his friend's house now, gonna book in tonight and feeling sad about it. So cute haha, reminds me of my brother who isnt really enjoying a lot at his unit. He looks a lot like Wooyoung from 2pm. I wonder which is better:

SMS or offline messages?

SMS can be both expected and unexpected. Once you start to reply back SMSes, it continues till the conversation ends, with or without a full stop. It gets boring replying to SMS if you do it for a very long time.

Offline messages are total unexpected. They are kinda like little surprises. You never know what the topics gonna be about, and you dont expect to get replies from it. They are like litte PS notes, telling you about some stuff and ends off without a trace.

Maybe I'm just being biases here cuz that offline message made my day, haha.

Like means like, dont like means dont like. It's a very simple form of expression but a lot of people seems to have forgot what it really means. Yah, grown-ups like to complicate things, it's best to be a kid.

When I feel weak, I think about them. Yah, they're so much stronger than me. I'm envy them a lot during primary school. I'm gonna be like them. I wont be looked down by them.

It's been a while since I blog such an optimistic post. I must thank some of them today, haha.

Pseudo-masochism

2010-08-29T01:04:00.005+08:00

Pseudo-masochism

Im sick again, for the third time. I guess the hot and cold weather is taking a toll on my body. I need to build up my immune system with more Vitamin C.

My project is proceeding smoothly as plan. Going into Phase 2 soon. I wish that Amelia would finish using the GCMS soon so that I can use it, haha.

I'm moving on with life everyday without you. I'm very independent.

I'm your biggest fan who yearns to be noticed.

I was that genie who grant you all your wish,

but I am not your masochist.

I'm still your biggest fan, cant you see?

How not to lose a contact when you try to break off a contact with someone. Contradicting but not impossible to do.

Subconsciously, I'm a very dangerous person.

Good-bye Chalon

2010-08-25T22:24:00.005+08:00

Good-bye Chalon

I'm finally getting some progress for my research project. I hope to be done with Phase 1 of my project and move on to the next phase. Method validation is kinda agonising to do with so many calculations and plots and maths haha, but i guess RSM is gonna be even more complicating considering the fact that I didnt learn anything about it before and I need to learn from scratch. RSM stands for Response Surface Methodology. If you dont understand what it means, skip to the next paragraph.

Soon, Im gonna get another 2 more tuition assignments to teach. Got to thank Weiming for his lobang. I have to take new students because my current batch will all end by November. Im getting a new Sec 2 and Sec 3 boys for myself. Cool, new students to teach, more fun again haha. Yah I know, FYP is killing me along with school work. I hardly have time to do my own revision while I have the time to blog, lol. Partly is because I want to keep myself preoccupied with stuffs to do. Right now, I really have a lot on my hands despite the fact that I can still blog online. I hope to vanish from this online world soon.

I dont like the online world, I really hate the online world. I swear that someday, I will abandon the online world *except for work purposes* and stick with what is real around me. I guess I hang out too long with the online people. There are some whom I befriended from that place, but the relationship isnt as concrete as the offline world. My reverse mind is ticking again.

I went to do a fingerprint personality test with Rachel on Monday. The person said that I have a "stubborn" and "reverse" mentality. Stubborn as in I tend to be more individualistic, more independant and have a mindset of my own. Reverse as in critical and question a lot about things in life. He said that I can work well in the quality assurance area, haha. I agree with him too.

He told me that I dont have a lot of friends. I agree with him. He can understand how I think, cool. But too bad it's just pure intepretation. In real life, not a lot of people can stand my attitude haha. I was told by some to change. Then I wanna ask them: Why should I change? More specifically, why must I change just because you ask me to? To be even more precise, who do you are to boss in my life.

Yah, there are a lot of idiots around my life, both in the offline and online world. How do I deal with it? Just simply make a joke out of them and ignore it. They make quite a good laughing stock out of themselves, thus there are quite a good source of jokes to crack among my friends too.

Im still a bit clingy to the online world because Im still fascinated by the different types of people whom I get to interact with. But as you know me better, Im the type who likes to indulge in stuff and keep gorging myself with it till I get bored of it, then I will cast it aside and find something else to do. That doesnt apply to relationship issues lah. Come to think about it, Im wasting a lot of time online, lol. Soon though, really soon. I will find better things to do. Maybe I will go attend church with my aunt, haha.

Keep in contact. That's something that a lot of people preach but dont act. Yah, I heard that as much as I have farted in my life. Yawnz. Back to my research and catching up on my sleep. Sensitivity can be calculated by ........

Just another piece

2010-08-22T00:12:00.005+08:00

Just another piece

It's been a while since blog. Time to write.

I've already started lab in school. I'm always going to school at 10 when i should report at 9, haha. Kinda lazy and tired to wake up early, and I have to bring my heavy Clairssa to school almost everyday. She is damn heavy sia, I regretted buying a heavy laptop when I told the salesgirl that time "weight is not a problem". Now i'm eating my words back, haha. Currently, I'm just experimenting with the different solvents in the lab, like a bartender playing with mixture of liquors. I'm trying to come up with the correct proportion of combination so that it can mix with my coconut oil and produce a phase layer for seperation. In order words, I'm trying to get my oil to stay afloat in the water, not mixing together. Ai yah, nobody would give a shit to what I'm doing lah. Next topic.

My MP3 finally died on me. My dear Samsung MP3 who had accompany me for the past 5 years, who has been through rain and shine literally with me whenever I go out. Rest in peace my dear, for I have bought a NEW and BETTER Sony MP3 to replace you, hahaha. Yup, went out with Mark and Zhenjian to bought the MP3. I wanted the yellow one but it kinda looks like a bronze or gold. The blue one has got some weird purple imprint that makes it look kinda weird. The pink one was surprisingly, catchy. All 3 of us we unanimous on that and I bought that instantly, haha. The colour combination is quite nice, sleek black and metallic pink. It's like wild with a sweet side of it. But who cares about what colour your MP3 looks like, it's my money.

I finally got a day for me to slack at home, despite it being a saturday. I dont think I want to go out at all this week because they are closing down the Jurong East MRT station for reconstruction. It's gonna be down for 4 straight days. It's kinda sucky to travel too far without the MRT, so I might as well save my money and time to relax my body at home. I guess I might have relaxed too much such that I'm neglecting on my studies, haha. Ok lah, I already printed out articles to look through for tomorrow. School just started so the topics covered aint that tough yet. Medicinal chemistry is surprisingly like A level biology, or maybe because I took biomolecules before that's why I feel that the lecturer is boring. Advance analytical is raining equations at me, and I hate equations. The geography module is interesting, but I really hate the physics part. Dr Colla is quite charming though, ha ha.

I got a lecture today from a 17 year old kid. He is right, and I know what he is trying to say. Tell me more about life, maybe I'll be more moltivated. In my dreams maybe.

The story we can spin, to keep on telling sins

In any case, nobody wins

For this is just a stage of imaginary scenes

Everything seems too good to be real, dont you think?

You're just another piece of pawn in this game of chess. A useless, lousy pawn like the rest of them.

2010-08-11T23:50:00.002+08:00

Take a chance with me and dont ever look back, dont ever look back .....

Please?

Bride of sorrow

2010-08-07T01:57:00.003+08:00

Bride of sorrow

I bought a new bag, again. I wanted to buy the Deuter bag originally but I bought something else instead the other time. In the end I couldnt let my heart off from the Deuter bag. It was like love at first sight but I choose to avoid it. Eventually, I ended up going one big round to buy the bag for myself at a hefty cost.

But sometimes, what your heart says could be wrong.

Going out with Mother and gang tomorrow to have a drink at Holland V. It's a good way to celebrate Zhen's departure for her further studies at London. However, we have a secret plan installed for her on that day. Hehe, I'm really bad at keeping secrets and I tend to say it out easily. Haha, I wont say it here. Let's just say that I get to enjoy the game of Charades tomorrow. Ho ho ho.

For they are friends, my real friends whom I acknowledge their exist not in my mind but in my life.

I was on my way to buy dinner for myself today. Along the way I spotted a familiar figure. It was her, one of the students whom I taught before in HKSS. She was walking towards my way and she had this unfriendly look on her face. I had thoughts about taking a detour but it was too late cuz she was approaching me at a rather fast pace. I put aside my thoughts and approach her as how I did to other people. "Hey there" I said. Suddenly, she gave me a really big smile on her face. We chatted for a while before I went off to buy my dinner. Yah, what a good girl she is.

Even though they are not the usual type of friends who roam around your world, they once exist in your life and will always do no matter how long you have lost contact with them.

Then, there are those people whom I befriended online. I have a lot of online friends because I spent quite a lot of time playing games and using social forums to interact. I did have a great time talking to some of them regarding certain topics. Little things that we share are insignificant in the real life, but it is those little pieces that brought us closer together. However, that's all between me and those online people. We will always chat behind the computer. I wont enter into their world, and neither would they. We would have never been friends in the real life without the help of the Internet. We are friends only with the Internet, because it's the only social barrier that shields us from the awkwardness that we will face in the real life. After all, I dont know anything about you at all in the real life. I still love my online friends though, I think.

Friends behind the screen, they exist because I acknowledge them as a community in my mind. Once this ideal cease to exist, so will they.

The bride loves the wrong groom

She made the wrong choice but chose to accept it

Love while the time is short

For this happiness between them is only temporary

For this sorrow inside her will be eternal

For this irony inside him will be condemn

She said she had fun with him though

Too bad he isnt here to have fun with her now

Pity the bride who made the wrong choice

Now she blames the groom, tsk.

Weight of the sighing sorrow

2010-08-03T01:46:00.005+08:00

Weight of the sighing sorrow

Went out with Nic and Cas last week for some last minute shopping before my school term starts. They picked one shirt for me, I made myself a customise t-shirt and all 3 of us spotted on this really cool Zara polo shirt. Satisfaction guaranteed at the expense of burning a big hole in my pocket.

Will be going back to school to take the lab safety orientation exam. It's a total piece of crap that burns my time from 8am to 5pm. Crap. At least I'm still going for a buffet dinner after that. Gonna eat all the crabs out of my heart content, haha.

PS: Secretly, I'm the highest bidder for the Planet Earth module cuz i spammed almost all my G points. Do tell everyone, haha.

The MAR anime is starting to fill up with a lot of stupid fillers. Cut the crap and give me the action, zzz. Looks like I wont be able to finish the anime before school term starts.

My brother is coming back this week and I dont look forward to him coming back at all, lol. Cuz he will be back from field camp and I will have tons of clothes to wash for him. Hmmm, since when did I become his Maria. I should get him to wash his own clothes, or maybe not. I'm a nice brother.

I love this timeless night, and hating it sometimes for holding it in the dark. Thank god the day is coming. I'll miss ya though, forget me not.

It's time again. This time in good old chinese style.

叹息的砝码

无助又无奈

它的存在令人感到窒息

你那沉重的笑容

你那可耻的信念

我确实不能了解你的痛

但我愿背起你所有的一切

一同步行到底

My book, your story

2010-07-29T01:39:00.007+08:00

My book, your story

Though school doesnt start till after National Day, the schedule next week is giving me the squeeze. So many readings, so many follow-up for the Honours project. It's like if time just forwarded itself to the start of school. Argh, research sucks.

I'm getting sick of Aika. Watching Mar is a very good way to kill time. Operation Weight Gain is in progress but I dont see myself getting any fatter by the minute.

This used to be a story about me alone. Trapped, I'm the author, lead and the narrator. I wanted it to be perfect. My world is the best. I'm self-centered in this big world of others. If I can't even allow myself to be self-centered, then there is really no meaning left for me to see in this world. They taught me not to be self-centered because that will make me a very selfish person, but they also like to contradict what they said to me. So why must I believe them?

And then, you came into my story. Yah, that's how I know you and how I know about myself.

Dream big but don't lose yourself in a dream. For dreams are not real and it's not your reality. Even though I cannot see you, touch you, or hear from you, memories are all I have left to remember you. The closest I can get now are by the photos I see of you everyday. Yah, you sure feel real in my dream, but you are just nothing more than a shade of my imagination. Regrets.

Read the two faces from the joker's card

His smile, sweet yet cynical

His frown, painful yet pleasureable

I can and sometimes I cannot read your mind

You love this game and so do I

So happy I can die

2010-07-26T02:47:00.002+08:00

Someday, imma dream big when i grow up and make a success out of my life. I'll get myself the perfect partner and surround myself with lots of laughter. I'll see sadness as a parcel of life and be thankful to the changes it has done for me. I will laugh at the things I did before and just forget about it. Ha ha, I will forget about it for sure.

Dance of the daring

2010-07-25T02:10:00.009+08:00

Dance of the daring

Yes I know, it's nostalgic...

Grocery shopping with Zhenjian was a success. We could really buy more stuff if one of us have a car. Shopping impulse wasnt as random as usual today, but I still bought myself 2 piece of shirts. My cough is affecting me a lot. People are starting to suspect that I might have TB, zzz.

So I'm in charge of tagging photos while Chee Keong uploaded them. I get to do photo shopping again.

So I learn from today's show that we can never be perfect. For in our heart there will always be pocket of darkness. You can be as perfect as you want to be, but for all we know you will always be just picture perfect.

Tell me this, my fair beauty.

Would you dare to hold this beastly hand

and take a bow to do this dance

For I am not your average man

I'm an ugly beast who lives in a sham

I'm just a nobody, I also dont want to just leave and be forgotten. I want to be remembered.... even for just a little bit.

And even though you are just a nobody, you left traces of memory everywhere. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. You are truly gone but definitely not forgotten. You will be remembered.

The dream engine runs, spinning beautiful dreams to its master every night. Yet, some dreams are not to be dreamt about. The master stopped the dream engine from running but defying orders, the engine continues to run on its own. Reluctantly, the master smashed the dream engine up into pieces. No more sweet dreams for the rest of the night, but it beats waking up living in one.

What's online stays online. Like cartoon characters in the TV show, they are not real.

School is finally starting. I dont really look forward to it but it's the best remedy to keep my mind off somewhere at the moment. Stressful life here I come.

Promises are meant to be broken, always. I get it.

Realization

2010-07-20T00:40:00.004+08:00

Realization

It's a terrible thing to have babies as neighbours. They always wake you up in the middle of your sleep. Spare a thought for your poor neighbour please, I really feel like strangling those babies who kept waking me up from my sleep in the morning. Shut the fuck up lah.

I am a lot happier in the past compare to now. That's all I know.

I need to wake up from this dream

I need to stop contradicting my actions

I need to practice what I preach

Observe the rules of this game. That is what I told myself all this time. However, I'm slowly breaking the rules of this game without me noticing. Yah, some rules are meant to be broken, like the way how some promises are broke.

There's a big ship stuck in the middle of the Arctic ocean. It has a big hole and water keeps pouring in. Then came an engineer who is in charge of fixing this ship. He can pump the water out of the ship but he cannot fix the hole. The ship wont sink with the engineer around. Everyday, the ship stays afloat with the engineer by the side. Tell me why oh engineer, why do you want to fix this ship so badly? What's the use of doing everything when you cannot fix the hole in the ship?

The engineer gives a mean grin on the face and says: "because I like what I am doing at the moment."

Eventually, everybody will turn dumb once a while in their life. Smart people exist, but dumb people predominates more.

It's like moving along a travellator. I'm moving along with my life but I'm also stuck at the same spot. Question the question, no wonder I'm going into the analytical field. Tsk.

Waiting for the last train that doesnt seems to come. It says there "Last training arriving" so it's gonna arrive sooner or later, right?

World domination

2010-07-18T01:54:00.005+08:00

World domination

Koi bubble tea is nice, but its not nice if you overdrink it. Duh. Spent way too much time playing arcade games haha. Yin Ngai is surprisingly good at playing street fighter especially with Ryu. I got myself a free credit to play at the arcade cuz apparently someone put in a token and didnt sit down to play. And who else would benefit most from someone's misfortune: Moi

In this world, I am insignificant. I am not the strongest guy, neither am I the smartest guy or the most handsome looking guy. I am also not the most powerful or richest guy. But in my world, I'm the best of everything, and you will accept this fact whether or not you like it.

There's no reason for me to feel emotional over issues that doesnt exist, on things that never happen, on people whom I have never seen or heard from and acts done which I did not witness. And even if they do exist, I cant help it if my heart dont give a damn to those issues. Because they are just simply not worth my attention.

I see joy from your suffering. I'm not a sadist, I'm just value-adding your emotions into mine.

I know what you are thinking and doing. I can think in your shoe. I can also stop thinking for you and say whatever I feel like and offend you like nobody's business.

I'm stuck in the "Guess what I am thinking" and the "Dunno" game, but I'm enjoying every single moment of the thrills in it.

Limitless time

2010-07-15T23:59:00.003+08:00

Limitless time

"No sex for 3 months, how did you survive that? Sit under a dryer?"

I'm starting to feel dry whenever I see you now. I'm running out of things to say all of a sudden. It feels like if I'm struggling to stay afloat on this sinking ship.

I survived my flu experience. Turned out that everybody in my house got the flu, even my Aunt who is staying on the 9th floor. Flu season is officially open.

Things that people share on the online world. They are insignificant in the real world but why cant people seem to realise this fact? Or am I the only one who realised it?

And I dont even know you, dont know you at all...

The anime for MAR turns out to be better than I thought. I still cant stand the fact at how they changed some of the things in the story:

1) It's Tracy in the manga but Dorothy in the anime, damn.

2) Peta is a girl in the manga but a guy in the anime, lol.

3) Rolan looks better in white than in blue.

The experimental period is always the most interesting part. When you start to know people and you are curious to know more about them, and you will never know who you will be leaving out while you are in the midst of having all these fun. Yah, enjoy while you still can.

Fun? I'm not a fun person, that's not how I want to portray myself to be. And I cannot help it if you choose to see me this way. There's a limit to being fun too you know.

2010-07-13T20:08:00.002+08:00

Random post, random remark. Welcome to the "Top 10" feature list of the day. I will be doing this till the day I get bored of it, ha.

1) UIC is cheaper than Dynamo, wooo

2) I love Adrianna Wow

3) I found myself another reason to buy more FBT shorts

4) Cosmic Break is still on maintenance till who knows when, huh

5) I'm on self-quarantine till the 16th of July

6) I love Jacques Ooi

7) When you make a mistake once, continue sinking in it

8) Prune yogurt looks yummy

9) Cough syrup does not make me feel drowsy at all

10) I can finally start eating rice instead of porridge, yeah

Yes and a No

2010-07-13T02:32:00.002+08:00

Yes and a No

Down with a flu, argh. Missed my friend's graduation ceremony and almost messed up the whole movie outing. Despicable Me is a very funny and heartwarming movie, I give it 10 out of 10. Love the yellow minions and Agnes. It's so fluffy, I think I'mma gonna die! Cant laugh out loud due to the inflammation in my throat, but I enjoy watching it. It's one show that I wont mind rewatching it another time, with the appropriate crowd of course. Haha.

Currently addicted to watching The Noose. I like Adrianna Wow, cuz she wows me. Lol.

Only when you promise to abandon your old self can you finally embrace those new things around you. Maybe because I have enough of what I want and I'm contented with it, that's why I'm not complaining at the moment.

Some things are not meant to be said. Some things are not meant to be shown. Some things are not meant to be heard. It's beautiful because there's no fear of losing it, for there isnt anything to gain from in the first place. Yah...

Why say either a Yes or a No when you can just say both and live on with it?

It is when it is not. Puzzling but true. Love the tea cup though.

Love this Thursday stranger

2010-07-09T00:45:00.005+08:00

Love this Thursday stranger

Another epic from today's episode of Desperate Housewives. "The blank hairstylist messed up my blank hair. Now I look like a blank". Lol, so fill up the blanks? Ha ha

Gonna go shop for a bag with Zhenjian and maybe Cheekeong tomorrow. I should make my choice considerablely before I make unnecessary splurge again.

I manage to curb my urge today. I only came online at 9pm today, haha. Nothing much for me to do online lately, literally almost nothing. I stop playing online games, I dont have any videos to watch, the most I could do is to update my music collection.

What is the colour of your sorrow? Is it blue on surface and you're fine living with it? Is it healthy pink on the outside but going psychotic black on the inside? Is it loud as yellow like if you are screaming to be heard? Is it going envious like a green that you want it so much but you couldnt have? Is it as red as a rage that you want to trash it out so much as much as it hurts you? Is it so complicating for you to say it such that you want to act like if you are cheerful like a rainbow?

I love a good thursday that can make me laugh and cry out loud. One more day eh, ha ha.

And I haven touch on my notes or read through any of the articles that my professor sent me. I'm so lazy to read them haha. Not in the mood for FYP at the moment, let me just relax my mind for a while lah.

A scene in your mind

The place I could find

Feeling alone

The rest of my heart has been gone

Unseenable view

Can't walk beside you

Smile for me now

And don't let it down

See the colours of days

I will find in your face

Take my sight away

A place for me to stay till the end

In the darkness of pain

I will cry in the rain

Fading with you

Dreaming of your memory

Eternity of love

Song for a vampire and a priest, it's about how many people are closed within a word they call Fate and how many people are sacrificed for a word they call Love.

Wednesday woes

2010-07-08T00:16:00.003+08:00

Wednesday woes

I finally got back my laptop. No more purple lines and I get to see my toolbar again, haha. Than again, there's nothing much new to what I can do with my laptop compare to using with my brother's computer. Facebook, watching videos, listening to music, MSN. Oh yah, I get to download stuff into my laptop, cool. When I first got back my laptop, I was feeling like "YEAH I finally got it back and I want to share it with everyone." Then realise that today is Wednesday.

Yah, today is Wednesday. I'm waiting for this week to end so that I can tell you this. Sure, I'm enjoying myself with my laptop at the moment, and so are you having fun at your side. Yup.

The night breeze felt so cooling after I came out from my shower. I push open the window and closed my eyes for a moment. I'm trying hard not to think about anything at the moment. I'm shutting down my mind.

After switching so many blog songs, I think I will settle down with this song at the moment. It's a bit of how I am feeling now. A yearn to break free from tranquility and embrace every moment I got outside. I just want to be there...

Nothing is good when it's too quiet around

Nothing is good when it's too noisy out there

It's not easy to satisfy a picky Libra-ian

Tsk tsk...

Attached is the 2nd part of the video for my previous post. You need to watch the 2nd post to get a better picture of what it is talking about. If not, you just dont seem to know how to appreciate art, music and romance. Lol.

2010-07-06T16:44:00.004+08:00

Now I understand what Caslin and Peiyin meant when they say that I shouldn't wear T-shirts and short sleeve shirts. Only those with good bodies can show out the features, not puny small size character like me. I get to wear long sleeve shirts though and look great in them, under this 32 degree hot Singapore weather. Kaoz, I need to gain weight ASAP!

I'm getting sleepy even though its only 4pm. I think my coffee is getting ineffective. It's either a change brand or drink more coffee. I'm back to caffiene addiction again.

Dr Liu has already accepted me for his Honours project. I am glad to be accepted. At least I don't have to worry about finding another professor now. Then again, I'm a bit lazy to start on my project at the moment. Haha.

Today is Tuesday and I am online. I just stumble upon this wonderful video. Feel free to watch it after my blogsong ends in approximately 2 minutes, haha. Nonetheless, I don't care if you cant wait to watch it. My blog is for my own personal viewing pleasure, not to satisfy suckers like you.

The eternal fantasy

2010-07-05T23:45:00.003+08:00

The eternal fantasy

This week is gonna be a peaceful week for me. I don't really have much of the urge to go out, at most to shop for my basic grocery needs. Tired maybe, I'm just having the homely feel at the moment. The interview with Dr Liu went quite smoothly. He even introduce me to his PhD student. If everything goes well and I get accepted by him, I will be working along side with his PhD student. After all, Honours project are just a small portion of the project that PhD students are working on. Technically speaking, PhD students work for the Prof, while i work for the PhD student. Reminds me a lot of working as a part-time temp personnel, haha.

So I tell myself to read the articles and brush up on my IA knowledge during this period of time. my Honours stuff will keep me preoccupied while I look forward to your return at the end of this week. Oh well, at least I have a better reason to sleep early, haha. Have fun there =)

This fantasy feels real even if they disbelief it.

This fantasy is real even if I reject it.

For time doesn't stop for you.

Even if it does, you wouldn't notice.

When in doubt I always go back to the top. Back to basic. No matter how anxious I get, how nervous I want to hide, I must not let it get into my head. I want to be cool like a TV star. Pretend....pretend.....it's a fantasy that seems eternal even for a second.

2010-07-03T02:50:00.003+08:00

I just like you the way you are. The way you look, the way your behave, as natural as you are without a mask on your face. Maybe you don't like the way you are now, trying your best to be picture perfect in your life. But you are already picture perfect enough to me. And I will wait till the day you can finally accept yourself, maybe that's when you will accept me as well.

Run, walk and pause

2010-07-02T01:07:00.006+08:00

Run, walk and pause

Choosing a project to work on for my Honours is killing me. Worse still is that I still have to email my professors asking them about it. Settling the admin stuff is killing me. Most of the projects are quite interesting. Gonna focus more on the inorganic and analytical part, avoiding organic chemistry at ALL COST, not much confident with the physical chemistry area. So yah, I'm more of the inorg/analytical type of guy.

Finally sent my laptop for servicing after delaying it for almost half a year. Clairissa isnt dead yet but it's annoying to see the monitor flickering and not being able to see my toolbar at all. I dont know who is responding or talking to me on MSN. Plus, I cannot see the HP/MP when I play DOTA, lol. I didnt quit DOTA, Clairissa aint cooperating with me lah!

One of the reasons on why do I like to watch Desperate Housewives is due to their introduction at every prelude. And today's topic is about "making criticism about people and creating false impressions."

I watched the 9pm channel 8 TV drama today and I saw a very interesting quote: We may have feelings for each other but we do not need to be in a relationship. So I ask...

Is this necessary?

Initially, I just run around aimlessly. Tired, I choose to take a slow pace and walk through it. Then, I came to a pause and ponder for a moment. Where am I now?

Optical illusion Final Part

2010-06-30T01:05:00.004+08:00

Optical illusion Final Part

10 things I can do when my brother ain't around:

1) Sleep on his bed, now you just upgraded your twin sized bed into a queen sized

2) Play on his computer without him saying "why are you using my computer"

3) Lesser laundry to do

4) Wear his clothes without him giving the "why are you wearing my clothes" dirty look

5) Peek at his diary

6) Pretend to be him and talk to his friends on MSN

7) Lesser nuisance at home

8) Talk loudly on the phone without disturbing anyone sleeping in the room

9) Sleep peacefully without hearing his "GOALLLLLL!" chant during World Cup season

10) Say "I love you, brother" at home without feeling awkward

10 things that I will miss when my brother aint around:

1) His annoying whine

2) His bo chap attitude

3) His dirty habit

4) Doing his laundry

5) The "GOALLLLLL!" chant during World Cup season

6) Venting frustration at him

7) His annoying laughter

8) Him seeking help from me

9) Using him as cheap labour to clean up the house

10) Drying the laundry under the sun with no one watching at home

I miss him, for now.

And so i am done with my work at the optical shop. I have practically clean up the whole shop during my one month stay there. Honestly, I hate to do sai-gang despite the fact that she is very nice to me. In fact, I'm not buying it. I bid goodbye to the uncle at the coffeeshop, Aisha, the maid and Aunty Florence. I said goodbye to my lady boss too, my sweet friendly lady boss whom you try hard to win my trust. You're so nice to me that I can see your mask peeling it off from your face. That's when I realise to myself:

As long as I dont have trust in that person, it doesnt matter how nice you treat me or how friendly you behave in front of me. I simply couldnt give a damn about it. Yes, I'm a cold heartless freak behind that robotic smiley mask of mine. Cheese~~

I'm busy organizing outings again for this week. Screw you Ice and Ez, they ask me to plan the outing yet they are flying my kite. It's so unfair to me and much worse, to Rag who just came back from the States. If not for Rag's sake I would have ****. Sing-along tra-la-la with Fairy yin and Mother on saturday and retail therapy with Nic and Cas. Yup, that pretty much sums up my plan for this week. Will make more plans in the upcoming future.

Honours project listing is out. I'm spoilt with choices. Some of the project sounds interesting but the workload sucks, and vice versa. Gonna spend most of my July period settling the FYP admin stuff. Oh yah, i'm gonna send my Clairissa for servicing too cuz the pixel screen is lagging me badly. Gonna be using my brother's computer for quite a while now, haha.

Once a sinner, always a sinner. Everybody has a secret to keep, what's yours?

Optical illusion, optical illusion.

You're just picture perfect through my vision.

Words that you say ease my tension.

I'm just all thrilled by all your action.

Cant you see, cant you see, you're giving me a hypertension!

You're sweet and beautiful.

Sweet like a dream, you exist only if I accept your presence in my mind.

Beautiful like a nightmare, you haunt me with temptations time and time.

My mind grows weaker, like a fool.

I'm gonna need a better reason to write you a love song,

if all you have is leaving and nothing to admit wrong.

I'm not gonna write you to stay,

if you're heart is nowhere in it and I dont want it for a minute

I will walk the seven seas,

when I believe that there is a reason to write you a love song today.

Optical illusion, at least you still can see them. If only we can see through those wearing a mask as easily as an optical illusion.

Optical illusion Part VIII

2010-06-21T22:44:00.004+08:00

Optical illusion Part VIII

I'm feeling a bit of the sexy jazz mood today. Got influenced by the radio at work. Lady boss is on leave today so it's just me and Xianyang (my "new" boss"). Not many customers as usual today. We talked about the City Harvest Church issues and how Ho Yeow Sun is spending a lot of money on her music career from god knows where the money came from. I need to bring more comics to work next time because I have so much spare time to read it that I am finishing it way too fast. We also rearranged all the spectacles in the shop and clean them up, thats how free we were today haha. It's a pity that Xianyang will only work till Wednesday cuz he needs to study for his exam. I'll miss him as a colleague in the shop. I dont really have "colleagues" in the shop apart from my lady boss, the uncle boss and the maid. I also dont get to mingle around with Ashlee cuz she only comes when i'm not around and vice versa. The only people i can get to interact in the shop apart from those people would be the different customers coming in and out of the place. I'm quite use to the place already: the cashier at the NTUC shop, Aunty Florence from the hair salon, the aunty from the fish noodle store, the guy from the coffeeshop, and many more. I will miss that place a lot in the future, all the nice people there are so good.

As June is coming to an end, so is my working career. I will end my work by the end of June. I lied to my boss that I have to start on my Honours project so that I can have a valid reason to leave that place instead of saying "I am tired of working OT without extra pay and doing chores all day". Funny isnt it. Last month I was still complaining about having nothing to do at home and wanting to kill time. Now that I am working I am still complaining about having no time for my own things and tiring myself out. There's still one thing in common though:

I still miss her wherever I am, whatever I do.

What I need is not to kill time or to tired myself out, or to run away from issues and act ignorant to certain things. I know a lot of stuff and I am aware of my surroundings. I said something that I shouldnt have said to a friend last night and I was really worked up by it. He forgave me in the end but I couldnt help to think about it:

Why do I still say things that I know that I shouldnt say, but still say it out in the end?

I realise that even though I'm trying to make a joke out of certain issues, I'm actually forcing someone to confront it and expect a reply from it. It felt like if I was gonna lose something important again. I already lost one, I cannot afford to lose anything important again. That's right, I dont want to lose my friends too. She's gone, my annoying brother is going to BMT soon and I wont get to see him for a while. Dad is always busy at work and doing his own stuff. I realise that I am depending a lot on my friends to keep me company lately. I feel bitter that I couldnt do anything much to spend time with my annoying brother or my dad. I dont know how to start. I'm trying though.

I dont want to lose my friends, or my family again.

I'm on off tomorrow so that I can attend the buffet dinner gathering with my friends. BEAST is coming to IMM this week, woo hoo. Heard from the radio that 2AM and 2PM are coming next month too. Finishing up my blog to catch up with my Desperate Housewife series, playing a bit of my O2mania and talking to my friends online later. Yah, evoking memories indeed.

Replay the record from this faulty grammaphone.

This beautiful melody I once played fills the air with your lyrics.

Dance with me through the night, my queen.

You're like a sexy girl and I'm a bad boy.

Show me what you got beneath that look.

Groove to the beat and let's get hook.

Cuz the music aint ending till I say stop.

replay....replay....replay....

Pop goes the weasel, the grammaphone is dead.

And there you go like the wind.

My life came to an instant stop.

This CD feels cold like a half-licked ice pop.

I cant fix a grammaphone, so imma find another one to play the music again.

I wont pretend to be gentle. I'm not your idol, so please stop. Stop stop, you're not you're not...

Optical illusion Part VII

2010-06-17T22:24:00.004+08:00

Optical illusion Part VII

Tell me why, tell me why
我还在原地寂寞的徘徊
我的爱，我的等待
垮成了一地错落无奈

Tell me why, tell me why
我祈祷昏迷的我快醒来
错过的都不存在
我还有好多人
疼爱

Tell me why, just tell me why? Why am I so bothered by the melody and the lyrics of this song? Did it sing the thought out of me that I've been trying to hide and run away from? I try not to think too much about certain things and get going with my current life. But every little thing that I see reminds me about her so much, so so much.

I have pretty much almost everything I want in life at the moment. Money, looks, good friends whom I can chat with me till dawn and to accompany me. Everything just came a little too late, too too late.

Some people say that I am clingy. I admit that in the past I do that just for fun. But now, there's a valid reason for me to do so. Are you afraid of me?

那个阿蠢是我, 阿蠢是我

Tell me why, oh tell me why.

Why cant I see tears when I cry?

Why cant I smile when I see joy?

Grandma used to say that people can fly.

I was too young that time to know why.

Now I know that when people die,

they fly to a faraway place high up in the sky.

Alright, I'm quite fine actually. Listening to that song just made me emoish for the night. A lot of interesting things happen at work today. I saw a celebrity coming into our shop today cuz apparently he is also involve in the optometry sector and somemore my lady boss knows him. Lol, surprise surprise. Slacked at work today cuz there wasnt a lot of customers. Lady boss is taking leave so she got another optometry guy to take over her. My "new boss" is a very quiet and demure person. So demure that I have to initiate so many stuff so as to "interact" with him. Oh well, training up on my interpersonal relationship skill. Other then that he is quite a nice person. At least he is not as picky as my lady boss.

I am receiving a lot of compliments from people about the new pair of glasses I made, be it truthful or lies. Thanks anyway. Even the customers in the optic shop are eyeing on it, like if they wanna steal it. My new boss says that I should stop wearing them cuz it's attracting too much attention. Ha ha, I'm like a 招财猫

I know that there are people out there who are concern about me, even when I say that I am fine. Sorry for making them worry about me. Dont worry I wont die that easily haha. I mean, I'm just more of a bubbly person on the outside but emoish on the inside. I may be living in an optical illusion sometimes but I know when to snap out of it. I'm my mind is clear as a saint.

Optical illusion Part VI

2010-06-16T00:18:00.006+08:00

Optical illusion Part VI

The thought of going back to work irks me.

The thought of going back to work knowing that Ashley doesnt clean up the optic shop irks me even more.

I had one of the most wonderful sleep ever for the first time in June since I started working. I slept like a log and woke up like a tiger. Just a normal peaceful weekday with no thrills and frills. I miss being at home, for now.

And so I realise that my life is peaceful and quiet, way too quiet. Most people think that I am more of the conservative type of person. Conservative = not fun = boring. Am I really that kind of person? My environment is, but I'm not. Trapped within my space and environment, I realise that I am trying to break free from this tranquility.

I hope to get back my new glasses by this week. I wonder what I should do for my weekends since I am given off by my lady boss again. Wait or make, it's time to take initiative again.

It's a quiet night today. Nah, I shouldnt feel lonely. I have the stars to accompany me. I'm learning to be more optimistic at night. Yup, the night is beautiful today.

I like the term used by Kesmond when he says that some of the stuff I wrote are cryptic. Yah, it sounds better than a riddle.

Dont trust the flower girl who sells flowers with a frown.

Her roses are red but riddled with thorns.

Beneath her hood are hidden with horns.

She's an succubus in disguise, dont let your guard down.

Dont trust the fallen angel you see on the street.

His wings are not clipped, or so he claims.

He approached you to fulfil his aim.

He's a devil in disguise, cant you see that his wings are clipped?

Dont trust the bride who crys in her wedding.

Tears of joy in the eyes of the naive.

She crys for freedom from the clutches of the groom,

who is an incubus in disguise, save her from being nothing!

Saving grace from a falling face. Dont be such a pathetic fool to the people around you. Know where you belong and stay broken elsewhere. With no place to go, you should really open your eyes and see reality through them and not in your dreams. Dont be delusional, you're not an optical illusion. You're just living in a black and white world.

Addicted to O2 jam again. I love to play "Bride in Dream", "I love Dance", "CrossTime", "Move it on", "Ohko" and "V3". "Last Winter" is also a very nice song that I am training again. It's really nice!

I'm off to bed. I love a cooling night breeze, dont you?

Optical illusion Part V

2010-06-10T23:13:00.003+08:00

Optical illusion Part V

Finally sorted out the statement of account in the optics shop. I'm getting a new pair of glasses at the shop. The lady boss chose for me a pair of RayBan glasses and I kinda like it, better than the one I had in mind initially. She got her daughter and niece to vet through for me, and they agree with the RayBan glasses. The niece also chose a pair of dorky vintage glasses and the little girl was like "ewwww, the glasses that both of you chose are so ugly". Then we explain to her that those type of glasses are the latest trend around our age. Good for clubbing, pubbing and funky outings haha. Making glasses for me and her niece is one big challenge because you need to have one person mending the shop, and the lady boss is the only one available to test our eyesights. The shop is freaking busy cuz its the only optics shop within the 1 kilometre radius *you can imagine how she monopolise the whole of Dover Road area*. We might as well just close the shop and open at 1pm, but that's not possible haha. I hope I can get my glasses by this week, looking forward to my new look again.

GSS has started and I still dont have time to go shopping with my friends. I need to get a break badly, my eyebags are growing haha. Weiming is asking me out to shop for guy's stuff. I just need to find time. I miss spending time with my friends now.

I'm having a craving for tomatoes and vitagens lately. Dont know, I guess I wanna eat healthy. And I didnt gain weight ever since i gained 1.5 kg last month. After this job I want to go for a nice swim in the pool. I miss swimming.

I remember when I was young, I use to trade diaries with my friends and we wrote stuff inside. Personal information stuff usually and some crappy but funny stuff. I lost that diary long ago but I can still remember some of the contents inside. Here is how it looks like:

Name: -

Class: -

Date of birth: -

Address: -

Telephone number: -

Favourite fruit: Tomato

Favourite drink: Bubble tea

Hobbies: Gaming, shopping

Best friends: -

Good friends: -

Enemies: -

Admirer: -

Those in "-" are personal information, but you get the idea of the format. Pretty much like friendster and facebook. Writing it down on the diary is more meaningful than online, because everyone will have their own unique style of handwriting and design. It makes every page special.

This box is so special. You just press and button and you can get to see that person immediately. Near or far, you know you have every attention from him. You can see what he does, how he acts, how he laughs, how he frowns, how tired he is, like if you are standing face to face. He is near but far, like a beautiful optical illusion.

You're beautiful and natural.

Once thought special in a place so rural.

Like a flower in a ghost town, you brighten up the day.

But there's only one flower in this town, everybody wants it.

So everybody fights for it, the days got moody.

Conflicts broke off and the place got smokey.

Like a fire raging in the town, this place got too bright.

The flower died, and so did everyone under the light.

Unaware by the people, the flower bloomed seeds around the town.

The ghost town became a garden, a beautiful garden,

whom it wants to share with everyone, but it's all too late.

That's what I learn. I dont want to repeat that.

So I'm back in this garden again, appreciating it this time.

Everything is beautiful as usual, all is fine.

My mind is clear like the beautiful sky.

Listening to the wind, and the beautiful chime that you speak of.

Yah, I love this tranquility coming out from you. Free from corruption, free from jealousy, and most important of all - free from any doubts.

Friends - they are just strangers who happen to make an impact in your life. A big loud impact indeed. BOOM!

I'm hungry again....but I should sleep now.

Optical illusion Part IV

2010-06-08T23:06:00.003+08:00

Optical illusion Part IV

Time flies when you work. I'm getting pretty good at measuring retina curvage using the K-machine. It's cool to peep into people's eyeballs. I get to see all kinds of customers in the shop, mostly rich people. I have practically tried out all the different spectacle designs in the shop and none of them suits me. I feel like changing a new pair of glasses.

I am an analytical person, as said by someone. When in doubt, I question it till I can get a satisfied and conclusive answer.

Liars in the society. You cannot see them but you can hear them everywhere.

Liars live in a world of their own, ignorant of others.

Dont even bother guarding yourself against them, it's violating the norms of the society.

Relationship is like a ship. Big ships, small ships, friendships, battle cruiser ships. Like a ship taking in water into it's bow as it sails, you take in all sorts of things in a relationship: big or small, happy or sad, shits, whining or smiling, trust and doubts, promises and violation, pride and embarressment. Water needs to be remove from the ship from capsizing, you need to give to keep a relationship afloat: communication, understanding, belief, morals and initatives. I like to keep all my ships afloat if possible. I wonder if anyone sunk the ship that I sent to them yet, hmm...

I saw a lion in the forest, lying beside a pond. I stood forward to take a look at what is inside the pond. I saw a fish. That's when I say "Gotcha".

I remember years ago,

someone told me I should take

caution when it comes to love

I did.

Tell them I was happy

and my heart is broken

all my scars are open

Tell him all I hope would be impossible.

Nice song by Shontelle, I heard that for the 2nd time while working at the optic shop so I have decided to download it. Radio rocks.

This man at the optic shop told me something about the Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School of Singapore. He said that I can take a 5 years course there to crosslink chemistry and medicine studies. I'm starting to consider my options after graduating with a Honours degree... 5 more years to study, sian.... And I still haven meet up with any professors yet for my Honours project, I'm screwed haha.

I like medicine related stuff, but I dont like the doctor. I dont like physics, but I can like an engineer. Get it?

Optical illusion Part III

2010-06-06T00:33:00.004+08:00

Optical illusion Part III

I'm having a hard time using the cash box and customers paying by Visa at the optic shop cuz I keep fumbling. I even gave the wrong change to a customer today, it's that embarressing. The 3 daughters came down to look for my lady boss today, almost like a family reunion lol. She asked if I want to join in for their dinner. I declined their offer cuz I feel awkward. Maybe next time.

Even though I'm working everyday and I'm dead beat, honestly.......I dont want to go back home. My house is feels empty to me even though there are people at home. It sucks to have nothing to do on a saturday night. All my friends are out there having fun partying, while I choose to coop myself at home like a stuck-up king waiting for people to invite me out. Wishful thoughts indeed, I'm better off alone today.

And so I spent most of my time working nowadays. My dad and my brother thinks that I am crazying for working so much. Maybe I should have went out for the dinner with my lady boss and her family...

I'm just tired today, I think.

Optical illusion Part II

2010-06-04T23:47:00.003+08:00

Optical illusion Part II

My hands are getting rough and flakey. Fingertips are getting rough from all the chores and moving of things around in the shop. I need a moisturing lotion, lol. Cut myself today while moving some of the crates, no big deal to you guys reading this blog anyway cuz it's from my flesh. Met up with Yanhong at Clementi to accompany him for dinner. Let us form the Seven-club, haha.

How I wish you were here now for me to talk to. When it comes to talking about about serious stuff, I prefer face-to-face, follow by phone call and lastly through online MSN. All 3 were not suitable for you, apparently. Not your fault, but it's not my fault either haha. I blame the bad timing.

Suppose there is this scenario: A prince and a princess locked seperate in a prison. The prince and the princess had a great time accompanying each other even though there are physically seperated. One day, a hero came by and decided to save the princess from the treacherous prison, but he will not save the prince. Who or what should the princess choose?

Being feel captive has never feel so much better than freedom before.

Guilt has never feel so sinful than never before.

A little guilt in exchange for a pursued happiness.

How I wish all these coulld be an optical illusion.

It's perfect yet virtual.

Riddles I speak, none understand. For only those who know and can feel disturbed from reading it can understand it's true meaning.

You cannot force me to accept things the way you want it to be when I dont agree to it in the first place. And even though I keep giving ways to you, I also have my limits. So stop pushing me and let me choose what I want.

I heard from my lady boss and she said that her niece just broke up with her boyfriend whom they were together with for 4 years. They broke up because of differences in their personality. My boss said that they shouldnt even be together if they dont find each other compatible in the first place. I agree with my boss.

Optical illusion Part I

2010-06-01T23:18:00.003+08:00

Optical illusion Part I

Day 1: The optic shop opened late and I was kept waiting outside. The boss calls me "boy" while the lady boss calls me by the name, haha. I feel so tired now. Not tired because I was busy, tired because I feel so helpless. The shop was busy with a lot of people today and since I was new here, I couldnt do much to help my lady boss. She was busy entertaining her customers while teaching me at the same time. I'm learning how to use all the high-tech optometry machines in the shop. Yup that's right, I doing things like what a typical optometrist are doing and at a much lower cost. I'm a cheap labour.

I am already working OT on my first day. Tired and sleepy, i'm trying to keep myself awake somehow like if there is something for me to look forward to. I spend most of my time helping to "entertain" the customers by doing small chats with them, cleaning up lenses and managing invoices. Making a spectacle, it's really not as easy as you think.

Time flies when you are preoccupied with stuff. I dont even have time to wander my thoughts around because I was really focusing on how to operate the machine. She showed me once and "expect" me to get it. She doesnt seem to understand the fact that "Hello, earth to lady boss. I'm not train in optometry so can you teach slower?" She is a very nice boss, I'm just whining a bit here haha. Really, she is very nice to me, much nicer than the "boy" calling husband of her, lol.

She asked me to change the nose bridge on my spectacles today because she feels that I look nicer with a bigger bridge. I dont see a difference though, is it really nicer now?

I know that once I started working, there is no way for me to look forward to at night.

I need you to whisper in my ear,

and tell me the things that I want to hear.

Your words so encouraging like a cheerleader's cheer.

I just really wish that you were here.

So many things to say but nowhere near,

My oh my, hold tightly dear.

This optical illusion is making me tear.

How I wish I could get things clear.

Cuz you're no Jack, you're my nightmare fear.

The city

2010-05-31T20:40:00.004+08:00

The city

This is the last day for me to idle around at home. I will start my work at the optic's shop tomorrow. Weiming and Yukun told me that there are some disagreements with the ad-hoc job from CibaVision, but i'm washing my hands off this issue and I will leave it to the 2 of them to finish up the remaining job.

Went out for my last retail therapy trip with Zhenjian at Jurong Point today. Went to play Jubeat at the arcade first. The Jubeat there sucks, not gonna play there ever again. The one at Clementi and Bugis are way cheaper and more fun to play. Bought a pair of sneakers at Everlast and my protein shake again. I'm aiming to hit at least a 45 by the end of June haha.

Got back my exam result today. I see bees everywhere, literally. Four B+ and one B-, one of the ugliest result slip ever haha. My grades are usually around the 4.00 to 4.10 region so there is nothing special for my grades this semester. It just sucks when you dont get to see a beautiful A grade in your result slip. I rather get A- and B- than to get two B+, haha.

For reasons i cannot explain, i was really really tired after going out with Zhenjian. I was sleeping on the bus and when i reached home i just plunge onto my bed. It's like if someone is calling for me in my dreams, haha.

Honestly, i'm not really looking forward to the work tomorrow. I will be working from 11am to 9pm on weekdays, and 11am to 7pm on weekends. Yes....i need to work on weekends, zzz. My main purpose is to kill time, but I guess I also compromise my social life along the way. It's not really that bad though, I can have enough space to think for myself. It's the start of June tomorrow, but it's also the end of my social life. Wait till July again bah, haha.

I just introduced a lot of new songs into my MP3 collection. Some of them are really good...

And I promise myself,

I am nobody's.

I just want to be free.

And I promise myself, even though we dont always come easy.
Gonna run from my pain, never explained,

do it my way, that's what I say.

I promise myself I'm the only one who will believe me.

Pretend, pretend...

that everything you see are just nothing but beautiful lies.

This city is fake, with people and their cold faceless expression.

This window is opaque, when you see through things without a soul.

This garden is ugly, like a prison decorated with flowers and thorns.

Just pretend, and everything will be fine.

The garden

2010-05-30T12:06:00.006+08:00

The garden

I am finally done with my ad-hoc temp job with CibaVision. Looks like i am having some affiliation with the optometry sector lately. Gonna start working in June in an optic shop at Dover as a part-time helper doing simple chores. The fun part would be to try out all sorts of different glasses on the display shelf. Who knows what I can learn there, maybe i can learn to put on a pair of contact lens with ease haha. The main thing is to kill time.

I was kinda late for Yuanzheng's birthday party last night. There was no food left haha. And Yanhong kept pestering me to buy alcoholic drinks for him last night, wat a sober. The Cheer's storekeeper mistook me as his elder brother and he wasnt really convinced that i was old enough to buy alcoholic drinks. Once again I had to flash out my pink IC to convince him. I had to "pretend" that i was buying the drinks for "our parents" when clearly, the storekeeper wasnt buying it haha. Kaoz, the storekeeper must be thinking that I am a bad influence by letting little kids drink alcohol. But on the other hand, i really couldnt be bothered with it. Not my problem if they damage their liver, haha.

Addicted to Jubeat again. Played so much at Bugis arcade that we got to board the last train home. It's my first time boarding the last train haha. I'm gonna train my Jubeat skill next time. I also bought myself this cute little Jack toy from The Night Before Christmas. So cute, wanted to get Yuanzheng a birthday present but in the end i went shopping for myself instead. Broke my sandals too for walking too much last night, what a good excuse for me to buy a new pair of sandals haha.

If only I can pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, cuz I can really use a wish right now.

It feels like if I have been away from the hectic city life for a long time.
I stumble my journey into this beautiful garden.
Like if with someone by my side covered in shades,
we live in happiness together in the garden of love.

We talk and smile through all night long.
We do things together like never before.
Every second and everywhere, I found myself in love again.

In the garden of love, you are my blue sky.
In the garden of love, you are my sunshine.
In the garden of love, you are my rainbow,
oh.. and its just you and me and we live in the garden of love.

In the garden of love, you are my shooting star.
In the garden of love, you are my blue moon.
In the garden of love, you are my big cloud,
oh.. and its just you and me and we live in the garden of love.

However...
flowers will wilt,
rainbow only comes after a storm,
sky will still cry,
shoot stars will fall,
moons will fade,
and the sun will be covered by the clouds.

It takes a lot of time to maintain a beautiful garden.
Sometimes, things doesnt go the way you want it to be.
Says the great mind of my ever compulsive thoughts.
And soon I begin to know who that person was by my side all these time.
Just a shadow of mine, I've always been alone all this time.
The only thing I felt closer would be the wind.

Dejected, I've decided to pack my bag and move out of this garden.
I took a picture before I left, for memory sake.
I took some soil back, for nature's sake.
I took a flower home, for my own sake.
I'll visit this place again when I have the time, I still love the garden.
However, it's time to go back to the city, where my life truly belongs.
Whenever the wind blows, I will think of the garden of love.

I tried and I will not live with any regrets. I will stand tall and move on with life again with a bright smile on my face. Life goes on even on big rainy days. Cheesez =)

2010-05-22T16:38:00.002+08:00

Maybe if i dont think too much, my life would be a lot happier at the moment. I dont want to make it a habit cuz once i'm addicted to something, i will have bipolar personality.

Envy is a very heavy sin, I must learn to love myself more. I'm not your supervisor, I'm not your brother, I'm no where near that much of an importance in your life. Just do whatever you like, even if it means doing things to my dislike. Afterall, I cannot think like you and neither can you.

Holidays are boring without a job. It's best to find one and keep your mind preoccupied with it. With a bit of space to breathe, who knows what might emerge out of it. I just pity the short amount of time that i can spend on.... i'll be fine.

One step at a time

2010-05-20T18:47:00.003+08:00

One step at a time

I'm already at negative budget with my spending expenditure, and it's only May. I still need to endure through June and July haha. I guess it's inevitable for one to overspend during the holidays. Afterall, I only get to spend them during these period of time. Retail therapy happens only once in a while, let me pamper myself lah haha.

I have been sleeping late lately. I'm screwing up my biological clock. Haha, it's a very long story. 2 months and counting...

Love me love me, say that you love me

Fool me fool me, go on and fool me

Love me love me, pretend that you love me

Leave me leave me, just say that you need me

I cant care about anything but you... *chorus from Love Fool by The Cardigans*

I'm lost in this confusion, my friend.

I call you a friend when I dont act like one.

I know it and you know it, we just refuse to admit it.

I see you in the day but I dont dare to make a say.

Everything feels so right in the middle of the night.

Whenever I wake up, I wish that the night would come soon so that I can see you again.

Nothing feels right when I do serious things without you

Everything feels right when I do stupid things with you

I'm serious yet I feel stupid, but I will be ok.

Till the blue sky falls

2010-05-14T20:43:00.004+08:00

Till the blue sky falls

I love that lavender blonde

The way she moves, the way she walks,

I touch myself, cant get enough

And in the silence of the night

Through all the tears and all the lies,

I touch myself and it's alright

Just give in, dont give up baby

Open up your heart, your mind and me

Just know when, that glass is empty

but the world is going bare, yeah.

Happy in the club with a bottle of red wine

Stars in our eyes cuz we are having a good time,

so happy i could die.

Be your best friend and i'll love you forever

Up in the clouds and higher than ever,

so happy I could die and it's alright

I am as vain as i allow

I do my hair and gloss my eyes,

I touch myself all through the night

And when some things fall out of place,

I take my time to put it back

I touch myself till i'm all dry

Nice song by Lady Gaga...

How do you find back this feeling when you feel that all is lost and nothing makes sense. Lost myself in this virtual world, i picture an unimaginable fantasy in my life. Snap out of it, come on! I know what is happening. I know what is the truth to me and what are lies out there.

Will I be missed if I dont talk? Even though I have the habit of doing things I like, freely and casually, I must learn to constrain my behaviour. For now, it's best I rest my sick body for the day. My oh my...

2010-05-12T14:42:00.002+08:00

When the standards are too high, it's best to lower it. It's not really you that i'm meant. I'm referring to my pride. To lower my pride, swallowing it, in acknowledge of the fact that i'm in fact inferior compare to you.

Despite the fact at how i regulate myself to portray a strong positive first impression to someone, i guess i still mess it up haha. You're good, my friend. I like your style.

It's all fair play now. I know what you dislike, and you like what i dislike. FYI, not all Hello Panda biscuits contain chocolate inside. That gives you something to look forward to, isnt it.

I will change for the better. I'll make myself a better man, just for you.

So many beautiful girls all over the world. I could be chasing but my time would be wasting, cuz there aint nothin' on you.

Shining after a rain

2010-05-11T18:19:00.003+08:00

Shining after a rain

I'm addicted to Kpop, too bad i dont understand it as much as i do for Jpop. Oh well who cares, i'm just grooving to the beat.

Mahjong with the gang on thursday. I hope Daisy wont call to go down for shooting on thursday. It's not that confirm also, at least i'm on standby mode for any potential shooting act. I want to earn more money.

My hair is growing back, especially the fringe. Now it's the side that is giving me the problem. It's popping out like a lion's mane.

Trying to organise outings and plans during this period of holidays. Gonna spread them out evenly and nicely. I seriously need a wardrobe change, and i'm gonna give away my older clothes to other people who might wants it. But i think most of it will go to the garang guni or salvation army, haha.

They said there will always be a rainbow shining after a rain. What if the rain never stops?

It saddens to be hated by people
People said you once loved that's why you can hate them
Others beg to differ, for hatred can arise without love
I seek another explanation

It's always the small common things we share that makes us feel like if we know so much about each other, when those things are just insignificant in daily life. Many things i cannot explain and they annoys me alot. Haha.

Limerence

2010-05-07T00:52:00.003+08:00

Limerence

The kukup trip with the gang was fun. I enjoyed myself haha. Took a lot of photos, will post them up here soon once they upload it.

And so they mean the same thing afterall. Completely carried away by unreason thoughts. This intense feeling, feels real yet virtual. So now i know what it means.

It's very much like playing a game, with a mixture of uncertainty and hope. Reciprocation is not equal. I'm really confuse now, haha.

Understand this fact. For this is not love, but a form of tragedy planted in the form of false happiness. It's dumb and dumber acting in real life now.

2010-04-28T00:55:00.002+08:00

In the middle of the night

I'm wide awake in the middle of this night. It's good to be able to see clearly again.

Seeing through your thoughts, your words, your actions. I feel like I am trying a bit too hard over things that violates my principle. I need to move on with my life.

Still, I look forward every night. I guess I should turn in early as I usually do. After all, I dont belong to the night. I dont belong to anybody.

Ouch. It hurts. This pain will last for a while, just a little while.

The outcome is clear to me. It's impossible.

Flash and stuff

2010-04-23T23:54:00.003+08:00

Flash and stuff

One eats a chocolate to pamper himself the sweetness he deserves. One goes for an occasional walk after isolating himself from the outside world for a very long time. One looks through his window and watch the rain falling outside like if the sky is crying. One gives a hefty sigh and ask himself "why..."

Questions for the flashy one: You're so attractive on the outside like a flashing christmas tree. You speak with a wit whom cheers the crowd for encore. Who do you seek and why do you seek?

And in turn i asked myself the same question again: why?

Feelings that i cannot explain at a moment like this, when i should focus on my exam and keep everything else away. Yah, i did focus on my exams. I've already prepared what is enough and what should be enough to allow me to do well for my exams. Yet i still feel that something else is missing. The band cant start without the conductor around.

You feel so cold suddenly, like if someone just blew over your shoulder. Cant bear to neither hate nor neither to love, for the timing is not right. Sometimes, i really wish...

After a nice hard work of preparation for an exam, it sure would be nice now to have someone good to chat with so as to relieve the mental stress.

Fantastic, funtastic, funlustic

2010-04-23T00:58:00.004+08:00

Fantastic, funtastic, funlustic

Edwin is sending me a lot of korean dance mtv to watch haha. I'm feel like dancing suddenly. Maybe i should sign up for a dancing class during this semester break to learn something new instead of hibernating at home.

Examination in NUS starts this saturday. I'm having my first paper too. Gonna do my best this saturday. It's time to proof the fruit of my labour.

Departures are known to be painful, and i'm terrible at saying goodbyes to anyone. Oh well, people always bid goodbye to me more than I bid to them. I cant really say how it feels to say goodbyeto people. Perhap that's why i didnt shed a tear when she left. I'm cold.

It's quiet when things are peaceful.

To feel lonely, you need to be alone

To be alone is to be quiet

And being quiet brings peace to the surrounding

But i dont feel peace at all, i just feel lonely

This world is not perfect or good enough yet

On a constant search for perfection, or someone just good enough.

To be there by your side during rainy days

To accompany you with a smile during sunny days

You're far and away, I realise

I see something in the north, but not Polaris

I wonder what's to be expected from there though

I wonder...

Let rendezvous

Daydreamer

2010-04-19T01:40:00.004+08:00

Daydreamer

Today is Day 37.

Boy, you're still delusional as of today.

Exams are coming. Time to get my mind off at home and start studying outside. Even so, my mind tends to wander off somewhere. Damn.

I'm very aware of what Dr Syoung taught to us during the new media lecture. I'm afraid that i'm able to grasp myself at the moment to stop what I am doing. I'm not weak, i'm just growing slowly.

There are things that i really want to share with some people at the moment. They could really give me the best advice to what i am facing now. Yet, i'm very worried about their reaction and aftermath. Haha, i feel like if i am wasting time here.

I mustnt be so stupid to believe in whatever people said. Trust yourself more than others. Love yourself more than others. That's why the gate exist. Yet, gates are more than just there to keep things out. They are meant to be pushed and broken down to explore what lies beneath. At the moment, it stays rigid.

I know i know. I am completely aware of my surroundings and my doings. My mind is saint clear, but there are times when i want to indulge myself in doing stupid stuff and purposely blind myself to everything. Cant a person enjoys acting dumb once in a while?

The personality test was right, it's hard for me to be loved by someone. For that person once exist is now gone. It's not easy to replace it.

I dream a dream, that everything here is a dream where dreams dont come true, and what's true are nightmares.

He's all up in my joy

2010-04-14T23:42:00.002+08:00

He's all up in my joy

Why are you so obsess?

The line is starting to get blur. Who are you and who am I to you?

For reasons that i can come up with in a conversation, it sounds like if i want some compensation for something on behalf. I'm starting to go crazy haha. It has really been a while since i went psychopathic over something again. Triggered some memories of the past, I need to find something else to preoccupy myself with.

The higher the hope, the harder it falls. Why dont I ever think that hopes can always fly high? Why must I think that it's gonna fall someday? Dejected with life, I dont see any much meaning in life expect to move on and continue living even if it doesnt make complete sense to me at all.

I'm not upset with you or anything else. I'm a lot more sick than i thought. I always feel that if i try to forget about it, it's not gonna hurt me anymore. But you always haunt my thoughts whenever i'm not occupied with something. Like a wedge in my mind, it's really freaking hard to get you off the head.

It's all an illusion that's too real to believe. But hey, it's just for a day. One day of absence...without a chat....without a presence....without an attention.....I can live through it, painfully though.

Why are you so obsess with it? When did it started to happen? Where's my mind? Who lost it?

I want to know more, an everlasting lust for curiosity. Holding the breathe and always waiting. Every action, every move, simply elegant, simply sinful. Just a lethal dose of satisfaction is all it needs to continue with obsession.

I'm not obsess, i just think intensively

Wars for the better

2010-04-11T22:53:00.002+08:00

All for the better

I'm happy, haha. I just fought a war and I'm hurt, but I'm still happy. It's was all for the better.

School is coming to an end, it's time for the final examination again. Gonna prepare for my practical exam too. Final week, some of my friends are graduating this semester. I am going to miss them in the future.

I am sinking deep to this feeling again. I am trying to keep myself afloat. Enjoying the vibes at the moment. You have truly made my day during my toughest ordeal. Thanks.

Tired of waiting, it's time for me to take some initiatives.

So they said love is like a war

easy to start

hard to end

impossible to forget

Faulty smiley robot

2010-04-01T00:16:00.004+08:00

Topsy turvy world

This 3-room flat of mine is small, yet so empty and big all of a sudden.

I'm living in a half dead, half alive mentality. Someone just reaped a huge chunk out of me and there really seems to be no way that i could ever fill this void back. Never ever again.

I miss everything. Though i'm not crying on the outside, the selfish side of me put up quite a strong front throughout this ordeal. There's just no one good enough for me to care about anymore.

I want to thank all the support and encourage from all my friends and relatives during these period of my ordeal. Thanks a lot everyone.

So this ordeal was a blessing in disguise. I will soon inherit a lump sum of money from this misfortune. I will no longer be poor and miserable, but everything came a bit too late. Just way too late. I cant buy time back.

This house is quiet.

It's peacefully but loneliness is in the air.

Presence once felt, gone like the wind.

Never to be heard from again.

Rigid on the outside, brittle on the inside.

A weathered soul hidden in this shining armour.

No more tears on the outside, not anymore.

One learn to cry on the inside, where no one can see.

The gate stands alone, locked.

The tree fell, weathered.

The purpose of guarding, gone.

Dote cries, Selfish joys.

My life is going topsy turvy. I'm not really as fine as i said, never will I be. I'm so used to smiling that I cant stop even on my most depressing moment. I'm a faulty smiley robot...

2010-03-24T22:44:00.002+08:00

The sadness you cant see because i hide it, is getting obvious
The smile i always have because i like it, is fading

This position that i occupy at home was suppose to be temporary, seems permanent
I'm not happy. I am emotionally devastated.
My end of the world is coming.

Crying without tears, for they are already dried up like a desert well.
Crying with fear, even like a phone call in the middle of the night.
I hate phone calls. I really hate answering my phone now.

I dont want sympathy, empathy, or any cup of tea
I just want to be alone when the time comes

Still, nobody likes to be alone all the time even though they claim they want to be. It's all about the perfect timing.

2010-03-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

My fish.....decent tempo, peaceful beat.

Love swimming in my own fish tank, huh.

You're alone

2010-03-14T00:27:00.004+08:00

You're alone

I saw Nat Ho at IMM today. I was so happy haha

for a while...

Got back my New media mid-term result. Not really good, it's bad. One of the worst result I ever gotten since I entered NUS. Somehow, I dont really care

not any more...

Is it just her or does all women like to behave this way. They need to be care for and we must always listen to their needs and always by their side.

give me a break...

Almost time for my departure. I dont really wish to hide from them about this issue anymore. All they need now is to just ask

ask and you will get a reply...

The Gate is opening

Protect the Mother Tree

till this day I stay by its side

I wait, even if I have to do this alone

Watch me

2010-03-09T22:43:00.005+08:00

Watch me

I feel so tired after running 2.4 today. So tired, but the feeling was great. I should be able to sleep well tonight.

Finished all my mid term test. Now to focus on my projects, sigh. I hate doing projects, especially when i am the leader myself.

I heard this wonderful song by Rascal Flatts at the arts Co-op today. I am touched by the lyrics.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that dont bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out

I'm not...

afraid to cry

every once

in a while

even though

goin'on

with you gone

still upsets me....

There are days

every now

and again

I pretend

I'm okay,

but that's not what gets me

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but i'm doing it

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still harder

getting up

getting dress

living with

this regret

but I know

if I can do it over...

I would trade

give away

all the words

that I saved

in my heart

that I left unspoken

2010-03-08T22:50:00.003+08:00

Cant sleep though i have to wake up early tomorrow. Haiz

People sees a different side of you when they get to know you better. They see a lot more when you get closer to them. They see the better side of you, and the bad. You shower them with love when you are happy but you can be very brutal in some sense.

In the name of love you expressed your hatred on them when they betray you. How could you...

A day in the bus

2010-03-06T00:32:00.004+08:00

A day in the bus

每当一再而再的想起那甜蜜的小插曲
脑袋就会不自禁抗拒又思念你的情绪
可是寂寞有时太清晰
心碎雨将我的心一点一点点散去

每当耳际一再的响起你离开后的回音
视线就会不经意逃避笑容背后的同情
还剩这个空荡的躯体
心碎雨将我的心一点一点点变成雨滴

It wasnt really raining, but i was quite sure i saw a heavy shower just now.