Through days and nights

For a start lets talk about my life in camp shall we. Work in camp STINKS as usual as i dont know why but there is just a hell lot of admin work for me this week. Preparation for my oversea exercise trip is near to it's peak and i am rushing to pack my bag, getting my uniforms sew, buying the essentials *aka facial, body foam lol* and mental preparation. I will be flying off on the 20th Nov haha and i HOPE tat i am flying off in the afternoon cuz i will be attending a wedding dinner on the 19th and its gonna be bad if i am flying during the midnight haha. Please dont crash~~ Ok lets zoom in nearer, yesterday was friday and why am i NOT surprise that i book out the latest again among my friends. They leave at 6 plus cuz they can hitch a ride, some of them got plans, wants to go home, accompany girlfriend, playing game etc etc etc THE HELL I ALSO HAVE PLANS SO WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LATEST AGAIN! Anyway i figured that so and they will most probably think tat wise too. Cuz boss attended a late meeting, i didnt do duty for a whole week and yah the "sacrifice one for all". One: its not my fault tat boss attended a late meeting. Two: Its natural that i dont do duties cuz of my appointment, even so why cant i do it on other days but ALWAYS on fridays?. Three: i am sick and tired of the one for all thingy. Peace out and chill, i will be leaving this forsaken place soon so i wont complain much. I went back home with Ben and KC *KC is short for Kian Chong* cuz our bosses had the meetings together and i was on duty. Wanted to go back with Zhiyong also but his duty ended quite late so we went back first. I never knew tat so many ATI personnel stay so close together in the west, even KC. Gonna meet up later to have dinner together at Westmall and yah, my pocket is bursting again lol.

I took a ride on Casper's car this week, together with David inside. They crapped the hell out of a lot of issues and yah i listen to them, duh. Casper said that one shouldnt be too bad on themselves, if i were to be on leave i will never come back to work. Am i really bad to myself? It's more like i am doing it on purpose to be bad on myself. Reality check: who in the right mind will want to be bad to themselves. As i compromise myself for the others, a mixture of sweet and sour occurs in me. A side of me feels that i did something great to help a person in need, another side said that i shouldnt becuz i am just adding more burden to myself. I want to be nice and good to myself, i really want to. By nature i admit that i am a very selfish person. By compromising myself in work i gain satisfaction from curbing my greedy sin. But i compromise with a motive, i compromise with a thought of sin. The cycle goes on and on and in the end i come up with nothingness. Being nice can come in lots of package: Some are genuine by nature, some covered with disguise, others come in fancy decorations. Ah the fruits of evil comes in all shape and sizes, guess no one can be a saint afterall. And when i mean no one, i mean no one.....Saints dont exist, they exist in stains of sin.

Sincerity from your heart, what i ask for isnt much
this job isnt hard,
it's all within a touch,
Why must humans bear their grudge...