Wednesday, July 08, 2009
|Just so i thought|
Just so i thoughtThis is the 2nd day tat Dragonica failed to meet up to my standards. The server is still lagging like hell and they postponed the maintenance period to Thursday. What a way to ruin my plan zzz. Looking forward to see how this maintenance can solve the lag problem. They promised to fix it so i will see how worthy their promises are.
In the end i spent my whole day watching Zach Bell anime. Very nice i tink i only covered 10% of the anime haha. Very interesting and tat will be a way for me to kill time. After that i went to give tuition to Jiarong followed by more idling, anime, msn chat, dota and there goes my day. Wasted zzz. I love the anime though, Zach Bell is just so cute haha.
So samuel called me up today asking me if i got do relief teaching. Lol and i thought the school called him down today. In the end neither of us went down for relief teaching today. Kinda expected with the NIE trainees and teachers back on duty. Samson is stealing my job now, haha. Well i hope they call me down tomorrow if not it's gonna be more Zach Bell anime for me. I really dislike having nothing to do on weekdays cuz everybody is working and i have nobody to go out with. Sigh, i hate this lonely bug. This week just didnt turn out to be the way i want it to be.
Yup i am in love with Janet Jackson's songs. I love her songs ever since my secondary school days and i am just starting to re-experience this feeling again. Her songs are nice to me, dont noe about the others. I like Doesnt really Matter and Feels so Right. Hmm, reminiscence of the good old days i assume.
Well even though the day might be boring for me, at least i got a good rest.
This story is about a man and a swallow. There was a time when this man noticed an injured swallow lying beside a tree. He brought it back home and nursed it. As the days went by, the man got fond of the swallow as it slowly recovers. Eventually, the swallow was healed and ready to fly south for the winter. Reluctantly, he released the swallow and pray that someday this swallow would come back and visit him again. He waited day and night, seasons after seasons with disappointments after disappointments. Just as he was about to forget about this swallow, he heard a tiny chirping sound outside his house. To his surprise it was the swallow again. He was so happy to see it visiting him again till he noticed another wound on its wing.
You didnt came to visit, you came because you needed my help again...Disappointed...
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
|Really really|
Really reallyGreat, seems tat stupid singnet server is creating a hoo-ha-major-delay in Dragonica and affecting a lot of users. A lot of users
INCLUDING ME zzz, wat a way to spoil my tuesday night. Might as well take this chance to blog first to kill time haha.
Back to relief teaching again i assume, seems like a lot of teachers are still not around or busy with the N/O chinese oral examination. A lot of new faces again from those MOE scholars zzz. Samson and the rest of us we were all bitchy about them haha like "wearing short lace skirt to teach in a school, nice move lady." Hope to have some interesting classes please but again it is beyond my power to control. Endure for the money, it's all for the sake of money. So good lor Chee Keong they all get to teach upper sec chemistry lesson from the MOE attachment at their school. How i wish i have the luxury to conduct a proper chemistry lesson for a class, tat is if the students are willing to learn. Ok ok i shall not fan jian and ask more from the school. Just earn enough money and i will be on my way off to shopping haha. I am not tat benevolent.
So i have been thinking a lot lately about the things that i have been doing. And i still wonder why.
Love the gameLove the chase even moreThey aint the same But i still love them allIt doesnt matter anymore
I am tired
I tried everything
Almost you said, is never enough
Yah just nobody but you
Isnt it weird that i cant throw you out of my mind
They say to pursue a love like never before
To maintain a distance without trespassing
They dont know that it's forbidden
Get up and show me that my love is true and it's just for you...Janet Jackson rocks...love this song.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
|Watching by stagnant|
Watching by stagnantWell i guess from now till school reopens, i will only be blogging on every wednesday since Dragonica will be on maintenance. June ended off in a peaceful way. Went to buy new polo shirts and shorts for the new semester at Bugis and had a farewell dinner with Yuying before she flies off to Australia for her studies. The day opens with me back to relief teaching and because of the H1N1 outbreak, i will be able to do relief teaching this whole week. Yah back to relief teaching and i am glad to be back. I think...
Samson is back at HKSS again for his NIE attachment along with his friend. Guangliang, Samuel and Siti are also back for relief teaching and along with a lot of other new faces. It's all about the interaction between peers and colleagues. Samuel is still as hardworking as usual and i am quite envious of him for being able to relief a lot of Miss Leong's classes. Guang liang is still as usual being casual with the students and good old Siti with her "usual routines" haha. Samson and the other NIE teachers dont have much relief teaching to do this week cuz they will mainly be observing and following their mentors. The students are back as usual being friendly and hyper-active. Back to normal, everything is just back to normal. I dont like it...
Even so, things just doesnt seem right to me at all. The switch from June to July is just too painful. Surely, the money is rolling into my pocket, my closets are filled with brand new clothes, new online games to play and new experience to gain from. What else could i still want to be new? New friends? Affection is nice in the beginning but as the string continues to stretch, it begins to hurt more than it feels to be nice. From afar and somewhere up in the sky or somewhere deep in my heart, i just watch in silence as everything new wraps around me without my resistance.
So i know these normal acad girls since they were sec 2 like sisters. But now they have become enemies because of some issues just because neither of them is willing to patch up. It saddens me to see this happening to them and so i ask myself: Why am i always the one patching things back when sometimes, i wasnt in the wrong at the first place?
And i just dont want to be somebody else when i cant be who you want me to be. It's not healthy for me. I have been very understanding for too long that i have completely forgotten about how i want others to understand me as well as i do for them. Everything is wrong, everything is fake, everything is just not right. Sure it feels good to have all the attention but everything I do is just about you. Where's the spotlight from you when i needed them? So some people just cast me aside when they dont need me, pleaded for my attention in time of needs and expect me to be obligating about those issues.
So i have been trying to act like if i am online on MSN now even though i am busy playing dragonica or some other stuff, trying to find time for others and trying to be understanding. That's because i care for them if not why would i bother doing so. Well, times up for being understanding. Now it's time to be understood even if it means straining a relationship. So what if everything is going to change from now on, why couldnt you try to understand me in my shoes and grow up a little...
You call me a bridge
that links people from place to place
I see myself as obsolete
Neither here nor there
You envy me with friends everywhere
never bored never lonely
I see myself as nobody here
Neither a friend nor enemy
You call it a form of adaptation
so flexible and easy to blend with
I see myself as a manifestation
Either selfish or a hypocrite
You said that i have something on my mind
who ponders a lot like if seeking for an answer
I do have some problems on my mind
wouldnt you mind if i share them out?
A word from you will make my day just fine. Be it a lady or a man.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
|June Fever Part III|
June Fever Part IIIOnce again, too engross into my Dragonica game. No time to blog properly lol.
-Tuition session today seems more like Eating session because Qian Kang's cousin cooked traditional chinese popiah for us to eat while Zhen Kang's mother cooked fried chicken and nuggets. I sort of filled up my stomach with those as my lunch haha. A rather "filling" session i would say. Lol
-Madly grinding in Dragonica frenzy. Need i say any further, lol. WarMage here i come, kakaka.
-Drinking session for this week was postponed by me. Will look forward to drink with Mother and gang again either on the 4th week or during July period. Too bad Yuying would have fly away to Australia while bitchy Queenie would be back by then lol. One come the other go, ironic. Haha.
-Might have to go back to school next week cuz Shirlene wants to borrow my "understanding the universe" lecture notes. I hope Dr Cindy didnt change the format, doubt so. Hardworking girl as usual taking special semester 2 haha. No surprise from a pharmacy student, haha. Just the thought of going back to school again makes me sian 1/2.
-Singing session was fun. I wonder when the next singing session would be lol. Anyway i am on severe budget streak now. I am not broke but i have overspent my budget for the month of June. Time to do some reflection.
-Went swimming again and got myself tan, unexpectedly haha. At least i never got sunburn like the other time at Clement's apartment. Trust me, the 3pm sun on that day was BLAZING HOT! Beware the deadly UV rays
This week went by peacefully i would say, on the surface that is. This random feeling that i have just appear out of nowhere. I know this feeling and i detest it. I mustnt get too attach, or too close, or too friendly.
The feelings you have outside are as cold as snowDeep down inside, you refuse to showCompare to us, you have a heart that beats one step slowYou yearn to be notice, you know we knowBut how would they know when your mask doesnt say soDoesnt said so doesnt means noI never said no, your understanding of me is just slowPainfully... slow...
