Free my mind

Suddenly i've got this very huge urge to say things out....

Its so unfair that some ppl are born this way and how some ppl are born differently. Why must there be rich and poor, why must there be happiness and sadness, why cant chaos and peace exist, why can ppl just get along with one another. I really detest this world to the utmost extreme even though i may not seem like the type to do so. To bear grudges everyday so tat you wont make irrational judgemen, to fake a smile so unwillingly everytime just so tat ppl wont worry about your problems, to look forward a day everytime with the same thing on my mine: who am i, WHO AM I!

I really want to be part of this society, this world. But ironically i cant, i just cant. For i cant accept who i truly am, i cant accept the fact about my life. I cant accept the fact tat i got to always be the one complimenting to my friends and not the other way round without me thinking that its so hard for them to do so. I cant accept the fact about why ppl are so fake when they say one thing and meant the other, i cant believe tat i am part of that kind. I am truly aware of my every move and even sub-conscious: why make intentional lies when you noe its gonna hurt yourself more then others, why not share your worries when you have friends around to help, why not reveal your true self when there are honestly ppl out there who are willing to accept the way of who you are. Why...why...WHY!

The fault lies in the main stem, the mother of evil within me. I forbid myself to talk, I force myself to come up with imaginary friends to consult my sinful thoughts, i told myself to believe in my own ways no matter how wrong i am. I am blaming myself for my own fault for its all my fault. Everything that i have done is making me suffer more then i want to my own self. Why am i inflicting meaningless pain to myself. Its kinda stupid to think of it this way, i dont need to see a psychologist, for i am clearly aware of my own actions. I promise that when all hell break loose and when the forbidden is permitted, the illegal defies law, i WILL not forgive myself to what i am going to do....to this hideous world and everyone living in it. I HATE myself for this world shall suffer under my sorrow. Ha ha...ha ha.....ha ha hahaahaha

You dont noe how much i yearn to pursue you to being a part of my life, but all i can feel is astray. Lies of this world, no Man is clean. No ones clean so dont act saint in front of me you god damn it bastard, DONT ACT SAINT IN FRONT OF ME waaaaaaahhhh.

bygones of tears, silence the grieve, heartless sorrow....a heartless tomorrow

At any rate, this wont be a fantasy much longer. The world is ending, really. And i love to see it end, my way.

The fun side of being hystercal, is to laugh at yourself.