3 letters short Part I (unbalance ver.)

3 letters short Part I (unbalance ver.)

Warning: Emoish and repeated procrastination of my broken love life again. Please do not read or complain about it. Everything stated here are from my one-sided point of view regardless of anyone's point of view. Do not read this part of the blog even though it is posted here. I say stop reading scroll the fucking mouse up!

Today is Father's Day. But dad is out playing mahjong as usual. Our family dont celebrate such kind of events, not father's or mother's day, not birthdays, not anniversaries, no nothing.

CK and YinNgai seems to know about my problem already, well its kinda obvious anyway no use hiding. They seems interested in my problem but i have no intention of telling them anything about it yet. Not now, not at this moment. Sorry guys.

Today is the 4th day after our breakup, i am still not completely over it yet.

I hate all love songs now, all the lovey lovey mushy mushy. Words like "forever", "eternal", "always together" are all sensitive words to me. Those words doesnt exist at all, they should be deleted from the dictionary.

She sees me as a friend. I see her as a friend also, slightly more then a friend but a little lesser as a girlfriend. Almost between the level but i must control myself. We can still do things together as per normal, i just cant get over without the title thats all.

I am listening to this song by Namie Amuro call "Baby dont cry". It is my favourite song in my mp3 list and it was written when Namie just got divorce with her husband. She must be having a hard time i understand that. In her MTV she continues to act like if she seems contented with her life now and play her role when she sings. It must be really painful to lead a pseudo-carefree life while carrying the painful memories from the past.

So Baby please dont feel too sad.
I know it is not easy to get over it.
You got to move on with life, slowly and quietly
Take a detour over the path and dont think about the memories.
The rain will always cry for you,
The sun will always shine at you,

I am alright so dont worry about me.
Everything will be over as time goes by.
The horizon stretches far and wide.
My love for you may be over,
but it will never die.

I haven break down and cry out loud yet. Maybe a bit of tears rolling down but those are nothing. I wish i can really cry out to my heart content and get over with the pain. But i cant, there is no place for me to do so. I cant cry out at home cuz my parents will noe, neither can i do it in front of my friends cuz it will be so embarressing. I will do at a corner, at a desolated planet where nobody noes tat i am crying.