The cold wind was blowing gently down my neck when i was on my way home. Seems like it is gonna rain later. The wind feels so refreshing after a day of OT again.
Busy at work, time just fly by quickly when you are working. The day went by really really quickly for me today. I didnt make a mistake at all haha so boss was kinda nice to me, duh. I help out quite a bit also. Though i cant carry those 20kg plus loads, i did manage to do housekeeping around the warehouse by clearing away the cardboards, strings and etc rubbish. Weikang seems to have sprain his back today he was complaining about backache today. He got to travel all the way back home in Sengkang then he can apply his Salon-Pas on his back haha. Old liao lah we are all old liao, all cept for John who doesnt feel the aching back lol. Took 188 home today with boss zzz, sabo by William of course. I rather take 176 home lor zzzz it was so awkward on the bus with him. We never talk and i just smile smile laugh laugh like the usual me. I wanna get down of the bus so badly lol but hack lah.
John is jio-ing me to pla Wahjong again. He is so addicted to Viwawa suddenly zzz, now i cant drill in my Trickster haha. He says "5mins play i invite mark in lol". Guess i am going to end my blog soon.
I added a kid a few weeks ago, supposedly he is ageist aka anti-adult. I dont tink i want to noe about the details. Sometimes he can talk to me normally but mostly he just shooo me away lol. Duh its MSN so chat wat haha, i get bored all the time haha. Nevermind lah. My online guild leader Ice (Arthur) is asking for an outing to celebrate for Raggy. Rag is my 14 yr old gamemate in Flyff and he intro me to the guild haha. We still got keep in touch and go for outings haha. Hope RI isnt stressing him out and yah careful of your bruises in rugby k haha.
I am playing wahjong with my colleagues now even as we speak lol, multi-tasking.
I am awake, wide awake. I am not emoing, neither am i out of my mind. These few days of emoing make me realise something. It really doesnt matter what happen to us in the relationship. Nothing has gone amiss, everything is still intact. The title as a boyfriend is just a name. Even before i propose to her, we have so much happy time being together. It was fun, just pure fun. Being in love is even nicer but its good enough. The main thing is tat we enjoy being together, regardless of wat kind of relationship we are in. She told me before tat wat we have is just a honourable relationship. I should have noe better enough already so i shouldnt feel too upset bout it. She even gave me a chance to prove our love together even though it didnt work out properly, i am really greatful enough. Duh its not like if she was playing with me, we really enjoy being with each other close but its just not the right thing haha. Friends suit us a lot better.
We still do a lot of things together, nothing has change. It doesnt matter how i feel for her, my love or friendship, my feelings are all real and i wont deny by hiding it. Being happy for us is wat matters. When she says that she feels stress being with me i was really disappointed and i feel guily. It's like if i chain her to me by being so possessive. Yah i noe, i can be pretty scary when i get possessive over something. That is one of my weakness. But not anymore, i am learning to share and let go. And letting go of her allows more room for us to develop our friendship. Well you never noe, we might get back again lol. Joking lah haha. For now its just friends forever. Now i can say tat i am 99.9% over it haha. Please lah give me tat 0.01% to fantasize can haha, freedom of thoughts leh haha.
She will be coming back from China soon. I got so much to ask her bout her trip haha. But i bet she must be rushing for her work after a long holiday break, work must be stacking up high she must be super stress lol. Confirm busy rushing for her work lor. I just want to smack her on the head for doing so many things at one go and always end up doing anything lol. She gets distracted easily despite having mountains of workload on her. Need to organise more like i always say haha.
The thorns in my heart are not the painful memories of breaking up with you or anything to do with you at all. They are the roots of my problem which i have not yet solve for this past 21 years. Time to pluck them off slowly, for real this time.
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