First step

Refreshing realism

Trying to know someone is like playing a treasure hunt game. They drop hints around and it is up to you to decipher them. The reward can be either enriching or stagnant.

I better start blogging before i completely forgot about it.

Firstly, i want to complain about my annoying brother. For the past 3 days he has been talking to himself via the microphone with his invisible online cyber friends playing a stupid shooting game. I swear that if he was to disrupt my sleep AGAIN i will engage WWIII with him do you hear me my beloved bro *of course you dont haha*! KNNCCBSTFU and let me sleep dont piss me off for no reason I HATE IT! IF i hear a single sound that wakes me up from my sleep again then he can say "bye bye" to his internet connection. Snip snip.

Back on track. IPPT today was refreshing, ended at around 9 plus and i just doze off to slumber land when i reach home cuz i was so beat up. I manage to befriend this guy through "ET contact" while i was going for my IPPT at Maju camp haha. It goes something like this

Me: *walking up the slope, noticed the guy stareing at me*

Guy: *stareing at me*

Me: *looking around, stunned by the large number of people stuck outside the gate*

Guy: *still stareing at me*

Me: *stareing at the guard inside the room*

Guy: *STILL not sick of stareing at me*

Me: *Finally respond to that guy* Hi

Guy: You here for IPPT?

Me: Yup

And from here on he became my unofficial IPPT khakis among the sea of 300 strangers stuck outside Maju Camp haha. The PTIs (Physical Training Instructors) there are slightly a bit less friendly but responsible in their duties haha. I was doing my sit-up halfway when the machine malfunction and i was like "What the..." and the PTI comforted me by saying "dont worry i counted for you already so just keep doing" and i was like "orh." I didnt realise that i did 39 sit-ups lol i was aiming for 3 pts only haha, overexerted myself. Thanks Mr PTI for adding 5 extra sit-ups to my result. Was he noticing me throughout when i was doing my sit-ups lol. Tragedy began when i was doing my Standing Board Jump. As expected, without training i wasnt able to propel my tiny body far enough to meet the minimum pass. I faulted the line like 2 times and was damn paisay cuz i was jumping there for like 4 times lol and everyone behind had the Are-you-done-jumping-look. First-timer jumping lah stop rushing me lah. The chin-up bar was the funniest as 2 people infront of us just put their tag in the chin-up bar machine and left, without even doing the chin-up at all lol. They must have given up hope on their IPPT haha. I did 6 but i tink i can do more with training, my highest record was 9 i tink lol. Light body mah easier to lift, anyway how many clerks can you see around doing 9 chin-ups lol, bragging a bit haha. 2.4km run was refreshing even though i failed. I thought i was able to pass but apparently not. I did my best though i didnt walk at all, i was running throughout and i still fail. Sad sad but i did my best even though i never train hard enough. Try again next year bah. Bye bye to incentives *sob*

Dragged my body to teach tuition today. My lower limbs and thighs are withered from the run and felt so wobbly. I couldnt even climb the stairs properly without my legs wobbling like a jelly haha. Did a ton of homework again for Kenneth, Keryn finally sighz haha. I thought she was emotionless haha guess she is finally opening up to me. Good good at least i am not teaching a zombie student haha. She sigh when i said that i would need to get her more practice papers to do. Duh who wouldnt sigh when you know that you have a ton of shits to do from your tuition teacher haha. Not shits lah, homework haha.

Everyone drop subtle clues in their daily life. It is up to anyone to notice it and take note of it. So busy with our everyday life and we just fail to notice the slight changes around us. I would prefer people to notice my little actions than my overall funny outlook. And it is those who notice the details that you call close friends from the others around you. I am not selfish, you just never notice hard enough.

Still, i fail to grasp the overall picture sometimes. Watching Ouran doesnt just makes me lol but also learn a lot about life. Gosh i need to resort to watching anime in order to learn how to become a better man. Forcing my feelings to other people and want them to accept me the way who i am, that is a very foolish act. Instead of forcing i should give more time for people to learn and accept the way of who i am. Well i dont just force anyone to accept me haha but i just want to blend in.....i just want to blend in so desperately that it blinded my perception to think logically. Not anymore, i hope.

Haha and i feel so alive today. Just when i thought that nobody seems to be bother about it, it came to me. Thanks, and i think i know a lot better now. I am not a nobody no more.

There is always a first time to everything and i am really glad to experience the meaning of a first-timer. It might not mean anything to you but it means a lot to me. Really surprise and it really mean a lot to me. Hontoni ureshi des yo =)