Regrets beneath the smile

Regrets beneath the smile

The sky has finally clear. Fluffy pink clouds floating in the air. Gentle green breeze blowing through the wind. Clear blue sky dazzling beyond the horizon. The holidays are finally here.

Lets summarise the ordeal that i went through for my past 2 tests

Organic chemistry:

HORRIBLE would be the appropriate word to use. Good luck dying wednesday was right after all. Apart for the first 2 questions, the rest of it was gg. I couldnt do any of the retrosynthesis questions at all, NONE! None of my friends know how to it either, it's like if EVERYBODY doesnt noe how to do the retrosynthesis questions. Nah impossible there will be some, and those will be the geniuses within the cohort. To think that my most favourite chemistry module turns out to be the suckiest one for this semester. What a laughter, lol. Ironically, i didnt burst out in tears neither was i emo-ing after tat. I was in a sense, relief, to see that a lot of people couldnt do the retrosynthesis questions. This means that most of us would be on the equal playing field again competing with each other. No offence to sound sadistic but i am sure that is how the rest thinks also. I am very disappointed with myself for not being able to perform at all in my favourite chemistry module. Prof Lai would be very sad too cuz nobody noes how to do his questions, which again questions his ability to teach the students effectively. It's not your fault prof, we just couldnt grasp the concept well. Guess i can strike out specialising drug molecules during my Year 3 studies since i will most likely avoid organic chem. Darence and Gary were right, Org chem is disgusting.

Spectroscopic application:

Stuck dead at the 1st question and i skip that immediately lol. It was damn.....out of the point or should i say DID WE LEARN TAT AT ALL lol. I doubt so but it looks easy yet cant seem to do it haha. I just didnt waste time on tat stupid question and skip to question 2 immediately. Equally bad at the UV woodward calculation. I was like DID WE LEARN DIENONE CALCULATIONS? Apparently we did lol, everybody was like stun by it cuz of the extra C=O group. I just treat tat as an alkyl and extra conjugation for my calculation. Anyway its worth only 6 marks haha, die die lor. Didnt manage to complete my mass fragment drawing for the m/z = 77/79 molecule. I know what it roughly was about but i couldnt draw out the structure. In the end i just anyhow draw and use a big arrow to break a C and O bond to combine in a zig-zag manner and viola, done =P

Overall, Year 2 chemistry sucks big time. Partly due to my incapablity to grasp the concept properly and yah, nasty professors who set tough questions out to slaughter the students haha. My performance for this semester is definitely not up to standard, it's like come on lah i didnt even noe how to draw 1 retrosynthesis molecule much less he sets 4 for us zzz. Practically handed up a blank sheet of answer booklet lol, i said practically haha. The bell curve will set the standard for us. I am ready for the standard deviation between A and B grade to be like, 20 marks difference lol. To get an A grade without handing up an A grade work, the result is more of a sympathy than an encouragement. Nonetheless the system is cruel, i couldnt care any lesser if i get an A grade and i will definitely not go around saying "take my A away, i dont deserve it!" CAPS at stake, siao ah who cares about integrity haha. For now i will just mourn over for my pride and ego. Cheer up Hanzel.

I will be eagerly waiting for my friends to finish their exams so that i can go out with them again. Good luck guys. Meanwhile i have plans allocated for myself already haha. Oh yah it's kinda a pity that Yan Hong is leaving for Malaysia tomorrow. When i am finally free, he is going somewhere else haha. Looks like our fate didnt cross out tat well, will see him when he comes back. My msn is gonna get a little quiet with him gone haha.

Reality check! I am on my holidays now. I have actually send out a few resumes to try my luck looking for a job during my 1 month plus holiday period. I wont carry high hopes over getting a job, it's just an excuse to get over my conscience for slacking at home doing nothing during my holidays. I got search for a job but they never reply =P

Samson wants to have an outing tomorrow so tat we can send Huda off. I am definitely going but he still haven update me about the activity for tomorrow. Will bug him on msn later. Queenie won some tickets to Arena from the Twilight competition through the radio. Seems like it's gonna be some masquerade vampire dress-up party at Arena on Saturday. I have never been to a masquerade event before but it sounds like fun. Gonna drink and dance my way through the night lol. Mother is also trying to organise for Wala meeting next monday or wednesday. She wants to drink through the late night lor haha. I tink she dont have to work so early tats why lah, but i dont noe if the rest of the girls can stay tat late. I dont mind lol, i haven been to Wala for a very long time since the last time we went. I want to order something else than Shirley Temple, maybe Cinderella haha. My sunday seems free. I might call Nic up to either go shopping with Cas, ask Kai out to go play Wii at her house or invite the both of them to have mahjong session at my house haha. I haven been playing mahjong for a very long time and i am itching to play. Game on people, bring on the tiles! Haha

Went over to cut my hair today at Catherine's salon. She gave me quite a nice haircut, short neat and decent, i like it a lot haha. Flyff is under maintenance so i can grind, craps. Oh well i just spend my time playing O2 jam to train my keyboard skill and watching TV bah. Slack like never before, it feels so good to slack once in a while to recharge my brain. I will be spending more time with mum cuz i haven been doing that especially during my school semester. Oh yah i need to search for a new tuition kid too, cuz it seems that Keryn's mum doesnt want to continue anymore haha. Not because i teach badly hor, she did say that she might want to consider continuing cuz of other issues. Keryn did quite well and i am proud of her, gonna be hard to find someone as diligent and obedient like her.

Yes my holidays are here and i am away from school. But it's not the way how i picture it to be. Being away from school is the same as being away from... It's just a month, it will be over soon. After that it will resume as per normal. Watching from afar, i dont dare to say more. Good luck to your exams too and enjoy your holidays.

I am happy, i think i am. It's the holidays now, why should i care so much...i couldnt bear to look at you on the bus today, regrets