It's ugly beneath

It's ugly beneath

I just had a big fight with my parents over the SCV bill, again. I dont like to fight with my parents cuz they are old already, especially with my mum because fighting with her is like talking to a wall. I am extremely furious about the way my mum is acting and constantly playing the "I am the true victim in this family" trump card. She withdrawed the money out from her bank account when it was meant to pay the cumulating bills for tat stupid cable tv and never think about the consequences (acting like an complete IDIOT, ok so going to hell when i die but dont care). Dad gambled away all his money on Mahjong last week so he is working like a bull now (i wanted to use the word DOG considering the state i am in, i just dont want to be tat sarcastic here and be banish further to hell). Pathetic, and there is just nothing i can do at the moment to help with the family income. Another reason for me to forfeit my Honours year in NUS, i am so going to work after Year 3.

Absolutely speechless about the way my parents are leading life by the minute and not planning ahead of the future. My parents are both my biggest source of bliss and bane. It's making me look like the unfilial child at home everytime. I dont like to quarrel with people but when i do i will tear away everything, inclusive of kinship. The way i just shouted at my parents, i tink i can be condemn in hell really. Tsk tsk, i just hate to rip away my happy mask and reveal the real me beneath. So not going to sleep well again tonight, thanks for making me feel guilty you stupid cable tv bill. Mum's dinner was good today, too bad of me to spoil the whole "family harmony" thingy. Did i explode too much? Can i blame stress and schoolwork for my behaviour today? Doubt it, and not trying to push any excuses for my actions. Nonetheless, the cold war at home will continue as i keep giving a black face at home now to remind them of their "bad debt". Way too money-minded here.

My parents taught me really well in managing my finance haha, way too well. I only fight for things which i really see as important, to myself and to them. If not why would i bother fighting and continue to lead my casual life. I always give in 100% to everything that i got, even when fighting. Win it or lose it, and i will win it even if i have to trash out all the nasty stuff infront of their face. Dont make me confiscate their ATM cards zzz, i can and its a matter of if i want to do it or not. I am just so damn barbaric at home, arent I...