Mind my petty-ness

Mind my petty-ness

Finally term break. I have got 3 tests to prepare, a lot of revision to do and my project to touch on. At least i can take my mind off for a while to study haha.

There is just a lot of misunderstanding in this world. It's like a 2 way street, you think of it in one direction while the other thinks of it in another. It will be nice if both of us can think of it in a smooth direction so that we can reduce any unneccessary conflict. Ah how i wish...

You dont understand when i want you to

You try to ignore it when i force you to understand

It makes me feel so stupid saying this out for you to understand

When things are suppose to be mutual and speechless

You prefer to accept it when it's awkward and sour

I will still be who i am just that i will do things in moderation from now on. Haha, i feel so stupid for wasting most of my time being overly concern about certain issues. What a clown, a real foolish one indeed.

I havent lost anything yet. I am just on the verge of losing a very happy feeling that I once had with somebody in my imaginary world

We both have different perceptive to this issue. I see us as a rather close buddy who does a lot of things together. He prefers to see us as casual friends. Suddenly, it makes me feel a lot stupid about the way i see things in life. What I seem as important might seem insignificant to someone else and vice versa. My expectation of certain things are way too high and often beyond my control. Sometimes i even wonder if it is even worthy to forge such a strong relationship when you dont know what the outcome would be. In this case, i just make a mockery out of myself. All i can do is just to laugh out loud and move on with my life. It's like what he said:

"Dont be so close to me lah i will feel awkward. Treat me like the others".

Like what Gary said last night: Be shocked and just laugh it away. Cruel but honest words. Oh well, i am disappointed but there is nothing i can do. Life goes on even on rainy days. Come on now snap out of it, he is the one who disappointed you not the other way round. I mustnt be that weak. I know when i am needed and when i am not. I should have known better haha. I had good memories though, ah nice memories those days were. Of course we are still friends. I dont want to make things awkward for him too. I just blog here to remind myself not to be too imaginative over relationship issues. Try to keep it casual and cool so that someday, people will really notice the big deal in you and see you as an important person. Some might already have just that in a way different from what you perceive. Instead of asking people to change, maybe I should change a bit from myself. To be a bit more tolerant and dont imagine too much. Having said that, i dont tolerate rude behaviours fyi. Not even a bit!

So if you are reading this post now, dont feel awkward ok. Anyway you hardly read till the end of my post so i think you wont notice it haha.