A kindling compassion

Ah what a saturday it has been today. I hearby announce tat my Restriction is over haha or should i say come to a halt lol, so i will be joining back the United Nation group for now haha. At least i can finally take a long deserving break tomorrow haha. Just went over today to pay my bills, argh they burn a quarter of a hole in my pocket already. Transport is catching up to me also haha so i dont have much to spend lol. Went over together with my MINDEF forumer friends to Sunshine Plaza where he introducew to me the vast merchandise of Anime goods. OMG i was totally dazzled in it, that place is like TOTALLY ANIME PARADISE haha. I was totally stunned by the anime goods there argh mind is running wild haha. I pampered myself by buying this Itachi Handphone accessory, cost around 9 bucks so quite cheap. What's more it's PINK haha with a watery shine gloss look lol. I brought it on purpose cuz it's Itachi *i like him lol* and pink, somemore it matches very nicely with my Nokia 7260 black phone. A perfect match at a perfect time haha, but for now i will use it on my ugly 8250 phone haha, doesnt really match but i just want to show it off first. It really look stunning on my 7260 though honestly. I wanted to buy the Sasuke Black T-shirt but they dont have M size, S was too small haha *finally i can wear M build lol*, i was pretty upset but also relieve cuz that T-shirt cost 45 bucks, argh thank god they dont have my stock haha, but i will save and buy that. Anime paradise all the way haha. They dont have any Ouran merchandise that i wanted so yah, upset again haha but it's ok they will have it next month lol, at least i found myself another place to shop when i get bored lol, but that place is far haha. Later on at home gonna have a mahjong session with me, mum, aunt and cousin haha. I proposed the idea cuz mum looked very sianz at home so why not spend some family bonding together. I will do my best not to lost though lol, aunt is a strong opponent and i dont noe why the hell i suggested it haha. I can choose to play Tales at home later but it's gonna get boring later, no many ppl are on msn also cuz everyone is out so yah, mahjong is better haha. I must hone my skill also haha so gambate~~

After scrolling down to read my blog i realise that i look like a miserable FREAK! What the hell was i doing haha feeling so down almost 80% of the time writing sorrows and problems haha. I am not really sad haha, just like being morbid haha. Of course i can truly see what's happy and what's not happy, i choose to embrace too much in sadness sometimes. Yes i will feel sad too if i feel about it, but i have my ways to cheer myself up. Of all the things to do, seeing other people feeling happy about what i did makes me the happiest most. Nothing beats making a person's day more special then yourself, it's like a magical dream come true. It's good to care for someone but being cared is an even greater feeling. It makes you feel much more special. Sometimes when i feel that i dont have any purpose of living *not suicidal*, all i need is just to think of my friends who i like and somehow carry on everyday just to see them everyday. There is no need to do fancy stuns, no fancy gift and no sweet talks to make you know that someone cares for you. All it takes is the touch of sincerity to make a special someone that you care for even more special. Living a life for others has never been the same as ever. I realise that the time i have in the army is getting to an end, somehow i dont wish to end it. Eventually i will have to end it, it's only a matter of when. I have decided to work myself out to this goal before my time runs out, i am gonna search for a certain something in particular. It's gonna be catchy but i will hunt for it no matter what, gonna make this the best ORD gift for myself more then ORDing itself!

Sincerity is a gift not by words but by the heart.