Tears of no regret

It was suppose to be a very happy week. Workload in camp was really terrible as i finally fulfill my tasking as a real secretary for my boss by working on this training report for our centre. After much vetting, rejections, amendments and correction the report was finally done and presented on today's meeting. Ah a sense of satisfaction runs through me now. My friends pulled a lot of pranks on me lately cuz of the *cough cough* day coming haha. It was real annoying though haha but i enjoy it a lot, cheers my mood up after a beat up day correcting the stupid report lol. Like i said it WAS suppose to be a very happy week until today. Today was our centre's turn to conduct an out-of-camp run and everyone except me went back early. I am feeling quite pissed, jealous and envy at the same time. Pissed as in why must i be the ONLY men staying back to help out with the bloody conference room and happy hour depriving me of my time home. I reach home at a bloody late 10pm while my friends are all resting in the comfort of the home. Yes i am jealous, why can they go back early but not me. Envy as in how come my treatment is so much different compare to them? I was so helpless today in camp alone handling so much work. After rushing through the report i had to get ready the conference room and happy hour later. NO i dont get to participate in the happy hour, i was the fatigue helper for that stupid event. Where were the people when i seriously need them most, need as in DESPERATE for a helping hand and not "come accompany me for a while" type. Everyone was gone! I was alone cleaning up the whole place together with the help of our mess boy. Where is the people, where is everyone! How come nobody cares a hell about me in camp working all along when they all just went back and take off/leave so easily. This isnt the first time i stood up so late doing work in the office while everyone went back. A test of sincerity in which everyone fails, MISERABLY. And for that i have make my last and final conclusion to what i have to say: the answer is no, everything that i have done is not that worth my presence. I appreciate the offer but still, no. There are times when you can see how is really is sincere and who isnt. In this case, everyone isnt. I am not angry, just disappointed. I may regret with what i said here, but for now my stand stays tonight.

ANYWAY, my mood turns for the better as i realise that Zhiyong was the mess boy and you know what, now then i realise that we stay just one road away from each other haha. I was totally surprise by what i heard lol. I stay back to clean up the mess with him and we book out together cuz we just stay so damn freaking near haha. Talk and chat along the way, almost got lost at the Bukit Panjang interchange lol but it was a nice experience. At least i got someone to go back with, although MAJ James choose to give me a ride home i rejected it cuz i WANT to go back with Zhiyong even though taking his car back will be a lot faster. I may have reach home late but at least i dont feel lonely. I hate loneliness and i hate insincerity.

There are times when some things have got to go, and my time is almost up...