Prove it dont just say it

Haha i feel so guilty today. I spend more time playing my game then for my revision haha. Well i woke up at 9 plus, studied till around 3pm then i went to play my game lol. Well its not the quantity of the time that counts but the quality. I feel rather productive today despite a shorter time for my studies, hehe i guess i should reward my weekend with some rest and relaxation. Was the leader in Flyff again, party together in the mines and i met a few friends. I befriended a nice Swedish childcare teacher and a rich and friendly Middle east player. We have so much time playing together haha, even traded MSN haha. Yup i even leveled up today in my game haha, double the success, double the enjoyment haha. Today is quite a satisfying day for me. Going with mum in the morning for her checkup at NUH then going for school, might skip the 4pm applied chem lecture cuz its not going to be tested. My friend said that the new lecturer is even more boring than our current one lol. Goodness gracious, dont waste my time in that god condemn bomb shelter with no reception from the outside world lecture theatre haha. Gonna skip that, pon-tan liao lol

Lets talk about my past few days. The mass discussion on friday for the LSM assignment was hellish. I was like the opposition party cuz i got almost the opposite answers from everyone. My concept for DNA and RNA are really bad i must say, thats why i keep getting different answers from everyone. So call better insight of it now, i must buck up on my basic concepts more. Still i feel that its unfair for the rest of the gang. Cuz only me, adrian, YouSheng and CheeKiong got bio background and the rest are well listening to our answers and we keep arguing and messing with suggestions. It is very difficult for the majority of our groupmates to understand. And i must say one thing, being smart doesnt mean being able to teach well. There is no correlation between a person's intellect with his abilityto communicate with his social environment. CUA CUA just CUA CUA su-ka su-ka. Wow its like if suddenly, everybody has got A level background. For god-sake soon to be future teachers, its no wonder why Singapore undergoes 4 major educational restructuring in the past 25 years. There is nothing wrong with the system, its the people that is wrong. Nonetheless its still good that everyone share their ideas together. I wont give up, i will do well for the upcoming exam no matter what. A matter of principle =) or i risk destroying my future haha.

Tuition is getting fun now. Just got paid on saturday haha and as usual after budgeting, majority of it goes into internet bill, handphone bill, transport, food and the blah blah miscellaneous. In the end i am only left with peanuts to play with haha. Gonna stock up for the upcoming Great Singapore Sale WOO HOO! Haha as much as i want to be a strict tutor, i just cant haha. My students are climbing over to my head haha. My P6 boy Kenneth just lie a stack of his homework on his table and when i saw it i said "Are those your homework? will i be doing those for today?" and he reply "yup". Haha reverse role here, just who is the tutor and who is the student =P. Kinda intriguing to see what kids nowadays are doing, they are learning concepts thought in higher level but in a simplified manner. And they are getting really smart too haha, so smart haha. While i was doing my student's homework (lol going through if u want to use the technical term haha) he was like "hurry up leh, time pass very slow leh i want to watch tv haha". I just chuckled haha. Along the way he began to mark homework for himself to do, he knows my pattern and routine haha. Take out a pen, mark 3-4 pages for english, selective questions for math and science. Viola done, self-assigned homework for himself to him while mutually expecting me to give him permission to do so haha. Yup good boy good boy lol. The P5 girl Keryn is more discipline unlike his playful brother haha, he always complain to me bout his younger sister haha. She is very hardworking and her work is always properly done haha. Girls will always be girls haha and boys will be boys. She also got homework for me to help out, but its going through with her haha not the other way now haha. I feel more like a tutor when i teach Keryn than when i teach Kenneth haha. I treat both of my students really nicely and they are really discipline, even for the boy haha. To think when i first teach them initially, the silent ice barrier was so strong and i hardly get to make them laugh. Now i can finally make them laugh and teach them the way i do for my friends in school, the me and casual me haha. I am proud to be a tutor HAHA. Going to give them extra practice for their upcoming SA, jiayou orh my dear pupils

As one gets older the toys get more and more expensive, so does the luxury. The gang is planning to go HongKong next year and they want us to save up now haha. Very expensive leh lol, but they say to take budget airline haha. Can get Pakkin to be our tour guide and Adrian too since one is from HongKong and the other been to HongKong lol. Actually Nic and Cas ask me bout this issue months ago and again i cant confirm cuz of the money issue. Maybe they are going to Taiwan haha, depend on how much i can save hopefully i can go for both trips lol. For this holiday Mark suggested us to go Malaysia, cuz we also got our malaysian friends around in school like Wee Wee. Its fun to travel out once in a while, i haven been out of the country since like hell when lol, the furthest i went was Australia and yah, tat was for my oversea ARMY training haha so its not a holiday lol. The great singapore sale is also coming, and what luck its during my school holidays haha. Great singapore sale aka great WAREHOUSE/LAST SEASON CLEARANCE sale attracts tons of shopping addicts, regional and globals to enjoy the frenzy of the lethal discounts and eye-popping freebies. Cas and Nic are already stocking up but i tink they might be flying oversea again to shop haha. Mother, zhenny, YY they all are also hurrying me to be the organiser to plan a day for the JC gathering haha. So many busy events waiting for me to start even before the holidays begin. Help me out lah girls alway ask me to plan lor haha, bo time leh lol. Not to mention work, i need to get a part-time job too after my exam to work during the 3 month holidays. Must work work work and save save save. Work to save, save to spend, its a 1 in-out of the pocket lol. Enjoying life like they said. From school bags to wallet, Zinc to Gucci, from PSP to Camry, Pearlini to Tiffany, coke to champagne. Life gets more and more pricey when u grow up haha.

Who haven been through a rough day along their life. I have and i wont deny anything about it. In fact like Alan, i strife even harder not to be look down by the better elites in a different way. Alan is too direct, my approach is more amicable or in another words, hypocritical. Lets see here, i was among the batch of rotten apple in class when i was in my primary schools. I enjoy hanging out with the bad boys and bad girls from the neighboring class. I will always stand outside of the class for punishment at least once every month. Every year my report will have either a fair or good rating. The grades are flucutating and yah, no Ace lol. I always tease the EM1 student alot and i hate them, i hate them even till now. I still miss Shi Hao and the gang but too bad we lost all contact already. Before PSLE i fail almost all my test, cept for Chinese haha. When PSLE result came back it was different, i feel like a different person.

Then i reach secondary school, met Mark whom is now my hard-core buddy in school along with other wonderful friends. Secondary school life seems easy, way easier compare to primary school. I scrape pass secondary school like a breeze. Even though i only scored A2 throughout my O levels, i got 5 As nonetheless and receive a complement. It feels good to be complemented. I wanted more. I miss my math teacher Miss Loy, she gave me the best support even though i wasnt the apple student in her class. I always look up to Miss Loh and her lessons though she taught math which was my most hated and still till now, worst subject. Thank you Miss Loh for making me fall in love with math during those time. I wonder how you are doing now.

JC life was interesting, the friends i made are even more special. Because JC class is small, its easy to know and understand everyone. Formef the mother-son-daughter-in laws faction with Ching as mother, me as son and Peiyin as daughter, Samson as the one wooing Peiyin lol. Despite a short period of 2 years, the moment we enjoy together stretches so far and wide. Of common interest on a particular subject, we studied together a lot and do homework together. I still remember how the gang fight a lot for my tutorial lol. "hey i book jinhua's tutorial first hor, blah blah who is holding to jinhua's tutorial for XXX subject lol". So funny and hilarious seeing the gang fight like this. Of course along the way flames of jealousy and envy sweep along the class when i perform well in class, sometimes too well. I bring glory to the class and jealousy among my schoolmates. That doesnt mean that i should stop doing well and in fact it encourages me to do even better, i dont want to lose out. JC was actually the turning point for the nerdy side of me now. The rankings, the complements from all the teachers, the envious look from my peers, i dont want to stop. I feel so sinful. A level results came out, somehow it was expected from the view from my peers. Everybody tried to shield their results from one another but all came to me. Yah all Aces, not surprising to them. I feel hurt on that day when i saw Karen's expression. There goes our friendship. Its not my fault for doing better then you, why must you be so competitive and jealous of me. I should be angry at your childish behaviour, and i still am and i noe u still hate me when we see each other in NUS. I hate you yet i miss the good times together in JC.

Army was tough haha. BMTC, very physically demanding for me. Mock by most of my peers and my officers for being puny and unmanly behaviour. Reminds me back of my primary school days. I endured, 3 months went by like a breeze. I fainted during the parade cuz i couldnt stand the heat. In order to reduce the embarressment for the platoon i was told not to attend the parade. I dont feel part of the group, haiz. Transferred to a unit along with one of my BMT mate. We both work as clerks, as expected. I was always more of the paperwork boy then the garang fighting commando. Clerk work suits me more. Occasional office fight with the 2 jeremys, befriended the DXO angela, i wonder how she is doing now. And yah our eccentric chief clerk. The chief clerk and the manpower office noticed my well discipline behaviour and performance and decided to promote me to a higher role. Personal Assistant to the highest commanding officer in the unit. I was both honoured and stressed. Fellow colleagues were envious of me, i thought i was lucky but never did i noe that it would mean more hell to me. Status wise i was a lot bigger, really big. My words are almost from my boss, i am the 2nd in charge. I was bigger then my chief clerk, bigger then my manpower officer, bigger then all the other officers older then me and most of all, bigger among my fellow campmates. Almost everyone hates me in the unit. I was only following orders but it was perceived as though i was "abusing my rights in the name of the commanding officer". Life was stressful, i struggled to keep up to my boss's demand and balance with my poor social life in the army. Met a handful of good campmates of course and we even united to form the PA's association, in quiet of course lol. It was a good process to mould a person's characteristic. I feel so old and growth up haha, everyone laughed at my puny body and kiddy behaviour. My boss love it and so does my campmate and everyone. I like to look young, being called cute, kiddy and "you haven change at all", be it physically or mentally, meant complements to me. I will feel insulted if someone say i am old haha. Rather then seeing those as sarcasm and insults, i prove myself to them and make them eat back their words. Kiddy so, sue me lah blehhhhhhhh

Why do i say so much lol. It's because talk is always so easy, you got to prove it to show that you are truthful of your words. To uphold the principle in your life, you must prove to yourself before you can prove to others. You can use anyone as a role model in life, modify it and stick to it. You will feel restraint somehow but it is worth for the sake of a permanent happiness in the future than to seek for a temporal aloof life now. Dont be dishearted, turn those ugly comments into your strength and make your enemies eat their words down, literally!

When i see some of my EM1 schoolmates in my primary school along the street, i mock at them silently in my heart. Most of them now are literally destroyed. So called elitism, the beauty turned into whores, the smarts were ugly, the nerdy now rebellious. Ha ha ha, retribution for looking down on me in those days. I can see your future now, destroyed by your own hands. Elitism is a continuous labelling process. It's not fixed, it's not mould from young. Anyone can be an elite, being labelled as one means you are just a temporal elite, elite for now. Someone will topple over you if you dont continue to work hard. Work hard my dearest, do your best and not only to make yourself proud. Make people around you and me proud and be proud of your achievement that you can call for yourself alone.