Angelic humour

Angelic humour

Lots of surprises for me today. Woke up at 7am when the school called me and ask me down for relief teaching. I thought they had given up hope on calling me haha so i was down there yah only to realise that my lesson starts at 9am. Thanks for making me report early for no reason. Hong Kah was the secondary school that i studied in when i was young, glad to see some of the veteran teachers still around. They were very nice to me. The students there were very friendly too, they even went outside to look at me like if they cant see me through the windows. Everybody, and i mean all the students were looking at me thinking "who is the young guy standing over there, he looks like my age". So friendly that they even talk to me when i have no idea who they were. Guess they are just trying to make fun of me cuz of my young look. Yah being young means easy to get along with the students equals HAVOC! The students were fighting, wrestling, going in and out of the class and screaming loudly. I tried shouting back at them but their scream drowned out my shouts haha so i give up. Since the hard way didnt work well why not do it the soft way. I just stare at them and smile while they were having fun haha. The students made fun of me by taking pictures but i dont care, i just sit there and smile. Somehow it creeps them out when they wanted to annoy me but instead i didnt get intimidated by it. They still goof around a lot but frankly speaking, i dont care what they do. I am bored anyway and instead of them sitting down quietly and me stareing at an empty wall, i rather watch them have fun. The girls are more discipline though, the guys are just out of hand haha. Ah well, i am just being too easy on them haha. But i am just there to relief so why should i give them hell, i was a student before so i know haha. I am not annoyed, i am just glad to relief teach no matter what class i am given. Making me puke blood is part of my role as a relief teacher haha. The girls even go about asking me about my email address and keep saying "cher you look so handsome leh". I wonder if i should take tat seriously as a compliment or as a sarcastic remark of them making fun of my look. Kids, i shouldnt take them too seriously.

Samson was in HongKah too but he was with his gang of NIE mates. We only meet up during recess and thats all cuz we have different timetable to follow. The students are ok, i hate the admin staff. They gave me wrong information and the wrong class to go into. I walked around aimlessly trying to look for the class and made me walk up and down like an idiot. Ah, i wish the school would call me again tomorrow to do relief teaching again cuz i am so bored at home with nothing to do but grind on maple. I need to kill time haiz.

I have this kind of feeling again. It was once pleasant to feel it this way but like a roller coaster, this feeling will go away as soon as it reaches the maximum limit. I like to chat and make friends with people, but i cant help to always wonder if the other party is taking me seriously or just complimenting with me only. Kinda numb to this feeling but still, i feel dishearten by it. Why am i doing this to myself it is not like if i am deprive of friends or something. Yah its not about that, its about something else. The thorns are growing out again ouch. The rose is nice to see but after holding on to it for too long, the thorns are starting to hurt. Mesmorise by its beauty but soon to be awaken by the pain. I...just...dont dare to say it out yet, its still too early to say about it. No i cant do that, i cannot think of it this way. There are too many people who took my kindness for granted so much so that it has blinded my sight to see all online friends as bad people. I mustnt have doubts in my heart, i should have more trust in the friends that i make. Still, i cant help not to be bothered by it. Call it a phobia or something, i am just being defensive, being defensive cuz i dont want to be hurt by them again for mistreating my trust. I dont want to be hurt again sob.

All i ask for is to find something in common, one whom i could see eye to eye with, one whom treats me with equal respect, one whom cares about me and appreciates the way i care for them. Is that just really too much to ask for in this harsh and stupid world. I hate it when i am alone by myself! Haiz, really haiz i tink i sigh so much tat i may be suffering from emphysema....