A little bit of this and that

A little bit of this and that

Well as usual, listening to my Utada Hikaru playlist while blogging. Just finish grinding in Maple Story. It is a good way to kill time while being unemployed. Counting down to the end of holidays. When will the chemistry department allocating the Spectroscopy module to us, it is delaying the time for me to plan my timetable. Mahjong at ZJ's house this sunday at 10am. Really got to thank CK and the gang for accomodating with my schedule to play mahjong at such an early hour lol. Who the hell plays mahjong at 10am lol. But no lah becuz i got tuition at 5pm so they want to play early. Everybody is so keen on playing mahjong and i am always the one with the problems. Time to relax and play mahjong. I want to win back what i lost to ZJ the other time, i want revenge! Teaching tuition on both weekends are killing my leisure moments. I cant believe how i am going to handle it when school reopens. For now i will just take a slow step forward, for the sake of money. Mum had a terrible toothache today and went to see the doctor/dentist. Told her not to eat too many sweet things le zzz.

Today i shall dedicate my blog entry to another aspect part of my life: Talking to online friends.

Online friends, as the title suggested, are friends that i have known online duh. Still i wonder if i can still consider them as "friends". Online yes, friends maybe. There are 2 groups of online friends: Online Game friends (OG for short) and Online Stranger friends (OS).

OG friends are well, like the name suggested, friends make while playing my online games. These group of friends are usually make when you party with them aka play together as a group or from guilds. Watashi is a guild that i join in Flyff and i have already went out with them for outings for a few times already. When we first meet up it was awkward haha but soon the ice will just break away. We come from different background, different age group, different race and different religion. We start from zero to friends. We might have everything in different but we have one very big thing in common: the common interest for the game that we are playing. Yes, the game is the soul and bond to our friendship. Having able to find someone whom you can talk with and with a common interest, that is what i call friends. A common experience, something that i learn from my Singapore History, is important when making friends. And it is an insult to call them "online friends", they ARE friends to me. We still keep in touch, Raggy is flying off to America soon and the gang is going to send him off. Of course i wont be left out haha. We will miss you Raggy, stay in touch online k.

OS friends, are strangers whom i have never met before. I got hook into this thanks to Alan for the introduction to that website. OS friends, they are always lingering in my MSN list. The special thing about OS friends is that with absolutely NOTHING in common at all, they are like Pandora Boxes. Yes you just want to know them and your curiosity takes over your senses. You feel absolutely comfortable telling them your deepest darkest secret cuz you know they will never say it out to anyone whom you know, and you can discuss about it openly without barriers becuz neither of us cares about what the other would think. Who are you in my life to think about who i am, i just want someone to talk about it. That kind of mentality, can be kinda insane. They are like temporary friends i would say, with luck they can be permanent. It is like playing trial and error. If there is a common interest between you and the other person, strangers can be friends. But mostly, they just remain as strangers. Talking to strangers may sound sick to some people but to me it is a form of destress. For a person like me who is very particular about PR, knowing less about me is a good thing. The lesser you know, the fewer flaws i disclose. Still, flaws are still flaws. People either accept or reject you, while some bastards may want to play middle man role in pleasing you, with a high EQ you can just play with them also. Back to the topic, strangers are also people, and you can talk to them. Some strangers did help solve some of my problems though occasionally only, many are just like the passer-bys walking by in your daily life. You know them, then you dont noe them. I wonder what is the true mentality to people when they want to befriend online friends. For me i am just trying my luck to expand my social circles, which i know is big enough lol just playing with fire here and to relieve stress. It is also a fun way to kill time haha, i am always trying to kill time off me.

Overall, i wont really consider OS friends as friends at all. To be honest all the OS friends that i noe, excluding my OG friends (they are already friends like i said), less than a handful, or fingerful, can be considered as friends. Then the question again: why must i draw such a distinct line between who and whom are my friends? It is to tell myself to stop BEING SO FOOLISH AND SPEND SO MUCH TIME TRYING TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHOM DOESNT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME. Yes, i hate OS friends who treat me like dirt. I hate it when people chat halfway and goes offline suddenly or ignore you when you ask them a simple question. It is like please, BASIC COURTESY PLEASE FUCKING HELL RESPECT ME. I am fine with my normal friends doing that to me cuz i can close an eye, they deserve me to close an eye. But for a stranger to do that to me, i feel insulted. What happens to "presenting a good first impression" are their EQ that low or something? I take time to befriend and they treat me like dirt. I feel betrayed. Maybe i am just too simple in my thinking. Who the hell am i talkin to haha, who am I to them. Yah, who are they to me and why should i feel this way. Becuz i treat everyone equally and i am tired of doing so. They dont deserve me behaving that way, Libra people are nice but not stupid. Becuz i dont like people to treat me lowly, thats why i always hold the utmost sincerity when making friends trying to be nice and funny. I dont want to be treated like dirt again, what did i do to deserve that. Haiz i am such a fool.

That is why Operation B&D is on its way. B&D stands for Block and Delete. Yes time to organise my MSN list, those buggers and good for nothings are occupying my precious MSN spot. I can only feel up to 200 friends on my MSN list, i need to clear some away. I dont like to block or delete anybody. I never do, even when my friends change their email add i never delete them away either. Use to it, sentimental to it. My MSN is a sacred place which should not be foul with strangers or people whom cares nothing about me. Still, why must i torture myself by enduring the nonsense from online strangers. Yah i cant resist the temptation of the Pandora Box, i just want to know everyone lol. Who knows one of them might be a big hollywood star in disguise lol. Nicole Kidman chatting online lol.

Hmm why do i catagorise friends? I dont want to be hurt by them, they hurt me alot. I am fragile, i would rather disappoint myself by doing badly for exams then to have them lie to me about a minor issue. Friends are my everything, and i would do everything to protect them from harm and everything to prevent them from hurting me also.