Run, chase and run

Run, chase and run

EXTERMELY BORED! Ever since i went to shower after finish chatting on msn, i have been doing absolutely nothing, nothing fruitful at all. I tried grinding on maple and within minutes it has started to bore me so i gave up. Went to tag along at other ppl's blog, read read a bit to catch up on everybody's daily life. The number of ppl online is dwindling in the afternoon since everybody is too caught up with work and i dont have much ppl to chat with. Oh well i just cant pester ppl around to chat with me just to kill time, i dont want to be too much of a bugger. Tried watching online movie like what Bernard told me to but it isnt helping me much as well. The buffering time is too long and the feeling is just different compare with watching the actual movie with a bunch of people. I am more of a people's people person, i dont like to do things alone. I am just waiting for 10pm so that i can watch this new TV drama in Channel U call Perfect Cut. Seems like a really nice drama series so i have decided to give it a shot and watch the 1st episode. The opening theme song sang by Shi Xin Hui is really nice and i will try to get it, maybe ask Weikang to get it for me lol but i will try not to bother ppl, he has help me a lot already haha.

Recently, i have this kind of feeling that i am chasing after something. But that thing is running so far away and ironically, it is chasing after another thing also. So it is like chasing after something that is chasing something else. Have you ever watch this kind of drama series where it is something like a triangle relationship. The guy is in love with a girl but the girl doesnt like him. On the other hand there is another girl who likes that guy and that guy doesnt noe. Yah something like that. Some things are never meant to be what you want it to be, you get what i mean? Friends are better off remaining as friends. But sometimes you just want to try something special, a kind of chemistry or spark with him/her but at the same time cautious about your movement. You see him/her more than a friend and it kinda hurt yourself when you know that things cant develop any further. Much like a one-sided relationship, you are secretly in love with your best friend or something haha. And NO i am not in love with my best friend or something haha. Just illustrating a scenario only so please dont think otherwise. I mean it.

Hmm, how i wish it will be possible to push myself over the limit. To be more bold with my feelings and the way i act, not so wishy-washy. Gosh, i cant believe it is that difficult for a person to say "I-Like-You" face to face directly and most ppl only dare to do so cowardly via sms or msn chat. I also want to say those words out to ppl whom i fancy, and just to that person alone. But what if it jeapordise our friendship? It is a risky deal and i dont want to make any mistakes, not again. I am quite unlucky when it comes to taking risk and i still am. Should i risk it? You never noe if you never try. But what if i already noe the outcome and it is futile of me to try? Oh god give me a sign...

To me, it is a sin to fall in love with a friend. I would rather fall in love with a complete stranger. But that person isnt a stranger anymore. Sigh, and somemore the chase continues. I am thinking of giving up but i am so reluctant to give up. I dont want to lose out to the other party, argh.