The blues in the sky

It has been a rather peaceful monday. I will be going back to camp soon tonight so i am doing whatever i can do now at home. Played flyff for the whole day and yah it was fun. Spent late at night downloading the music theme song for Flyff. It's call daystar town and the music is nice, very calm and soothing with the feeling of helplessness. It has this very sorrow melody that churns in my head, the theme is of course about the sky. Sometimes we see and envy the stretch of endless blue sea among our head, the birds flying freely, so lucky.....But at what price does it take for us to reach beyond the sea of blues for when we ourself have our own side of blues on the ground. To the sky we seem like a sea also, a helpless sea of dots in this messing society like a plate of loose sand. There are some things that are achievable and some that are not. I am not doubting myself about my achievement so far, i am just confuse about what i am trying to achieve. I just want to lead a simple life and stay happy. Some people say that our simplicity in life is make complex by our differences in society, yet i disagree. The simplicity in life is harder to achieve then what's complex with what we have now, not by the society but by a minority of individuals who sees life in a different view. I just wish to serve my duty and perform my nature. Yes i play the role of the saint but action speaks louder then words. For i am no saint, i am just someone wearing a tainted robe who acts like a saint. I am just a servant who serve whoever i deem and like, i do what's beyond my duty for you and wherever you go i shall follow. I am not sure if what i am doing will make you happy, it makes me happy and it makes you happy, but are we happy together? individual happiness is only attainable by doing whatever you deem makes you happy. To share the joy of happiness together as a whole, it takes more then just making you or me happy. There is an element missing that makes happiness as a whole, i am still searching for it. Even if i am not happy, i just want you to be happy. My life may be down but when you life isnt so will mine, cuz i am just a servant. Dont call me a fool please, for i know i am a fool already. What's the difference does it make being a fool now and being a fool later....

Forgive me again please, i just want you to smile so please dont feel bad.