Physical horror! Rise of the unevens

Horror! Physical chemistry has, and always will be a threat to my studies. The recent test was just a disappointment. I am already struggling with the 1st qn, no idea how to answer 2nd qn, totally loss for 3rd qn and i had calculation error for the 4th. I am so screwed for this 10% CA haha but thankfully only 10%, gonna work harder for my lab report to pull up the rank and do my best for the finals. Meanwhile i have got another threat going, organic chemistry.

Honesty, organic chemistry has always been my forte. Ever since JC i have been doing very well for organic chemistry and i dont intend to falter for this upcoming test. I love organic chemistry despite its hectic mechanisms. The thinking of creating "something from nothing", the thought of back calculating to come up with intermediate products from bits and pieces of puzzles just tickles my brain haha. I wont fail myself this time, organic chemistry is my only module that can offset the negative balance from physical chemistry. Applied chemistry is going to pull me down too, biochemistry will counter that. That leaves my stupid SS history module, lol i plan to SU it anyway haha, hope i can SU it successfully haha.

Life, has been complex. My studies are piling up and i have found myself in a state which i have never been in my life. I am no longer alone, i am so happy. They, are not happy. I use to be a consultant to lots of my peers, but now i am in a predicament that needs to be consulted. Its not tat i dont want to share my problems with my other friends, its just tat i got a major obstacle to overcome before i do tat, MYSELF!

There he stood with fiery of passion,
on wings of hope he sees obsession
Drowning sorrows who seeks repression,
who seeks the light of all compassion?

They have been coming back in predominant forms. It can see it but i cant stop it for i am sinking really deep, really really deep. Oh well maybe i am just lack of caffiene or just emo-ing haha. I hate it when i am not myself, not doing well for my test is just demoralising. I just cant get over with myself despite having such strong external influences. There's not one but four! It seems that all i noe wat to do now is to just smile and walk away from the problems. Have i forgotten how to cry or get angry? Perfect actor magnific! Looks who's playing hide and seek. And you only noe how to grumble deep within your heart when no one but them can hear. For i can only see enacted help, not perceived help. IsCream!

Unseen support, i am the support who supports me and only myself. Stay away from my life, literally or risk dying under my subconscious domain. Dont make me hate my friends just because they want to know me even better, its best to know when its enough.

Knife please Miyuki-chan~